5 Ways to Beat Self-Doubt

By Steve Errey

EVERY project I take on, I wonder if this is the one that I crawl away from with egg on my face.

Every article I write, I wonder “What if I have nothing to say?” Every date I go on, I wonder whether this will be the one where they laugh me out of the room.

Don't let self-doubt ruin your plans (pic by freedigitalphotos.net)

It’s not just me either. Whether you’re a circus performer, a Wall Street banker, a sushi chef, a submarine captain or a librarian, self-doubt will be a regular visitor.

There are people who doubt they can experience love because they don’t know how. People who doubt they can make the jump to being self-employed because they aren’t really a grown-up.

And people who doubt they have what it takes to really “make it”, because they’re just way too messed up.

Self-doubt is that horrible, gut-plummeting question of whether you’re good enough

It’s a yawning, gaping lack of confidence in yourself and your ability that makes you feel small and alone like a scared penguin in a haunted tunnel.

So to hell with that. Let’s do something about it, shall we?

1. Check the evidence

You’ve had doubts before, right? Whether those doubts were about studying, relationships, new jobs or anything else, you’ve been there before.

And yet you’re here, now. You’ve come a long way. The evidence supports that you’ve survived this life thing so far, even with all those times you’ve doubted yourself.

And as the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, it’s odds-on that you’ll continue to survive, no matter how big the self-doubt.

The self-doubt wants you to feel small and it might even want you to panic a little. But as the facts support, you’re bigger than it will ever be.

2. What if it was there to help you?

Doubt can be bloody confusing. It spins around and makes you wonder which way’s up, where North is and whether you can trust the ground you’re standing on.

But sometimes, it’s there to help prepare you.

You don’t have to pander to it or do what it tells you, but what if the voice of doubt was there to help you?

What if it was there to highlight a way for you to get ready? What if it was there to help you prepare? Or what if it was there to make sure you get out of your own way?

Doubt can be more of a downer than a greasy weasel down a luge run, but taking something positive, helpful and enabling from it can be a surprising and wonderful twist.

3. Put on your lab coat

Doubt rears its head when there’s change, risk and possibility in the air, because it hates that stuff.

So an effective strategy is one that reduces the threat level down to something that’s eminently manageable or doable.

TV’s Sheldon Copper (‘The Big Bang Theory’) would approach a challenge by breaking it down and running an experiment to see what happens.

Then he’d learn from that experiment and conduct another one.

Then he’d probably freak out that he was wearing his Tuesday socks on a Wednesday and secure himself in his room because the world no longer makes sense.

Maybe that’s not the best example I could have found, but the take-away here is that there’s something to be said about approaching things a little more scientifically.

Running small experiments is a fantastic way for you try something and see what happens. You get to change a variable and learn from what happens, without the sense that you’re irrevocably committed.

Reduce the perceived risks by running small experiments, and you simultaneously reduce self-doubt.

4. Swap to a better narrative

That voice of doubt is a cracking storyteller.

It’ll spin a yarn about how bad things could get and how horrible you’ll feel. It’ll regale you with tales of people better than you who’ve tried and failed.

And it’ll tell you stories as you fall asleep of how you can live happily ever after if you just don’t do anything stupid.

They’re just stories. None of us know what’s going to happen.

So you get to choose which stories you listen to, and which stories inspire you into action.

Choose a better narrative, one that sees you as whole and resourceful or one that sees doubt simply as a sign that you’re alive and well and striving, and see how that changes things.

5. Rally supporters

Trees have roots. Shoes have soles. Pies have pastry.

There will be times when the voice of doubt is so 'shouty' and controlling that you need some external input to help you through.

Your supporters - the people who want the best for you even when you don’t - are there to do just that.

This isn’t about throwing yourself a pity party or boosting your ego, it’s about asking for help and support so you can take your next step rather than sink into the mud.

So take a look around you. Your supporters might include old friends or new friends, a partner or a family member, a colleague, a coach, a priest or even a pet (yes, really).

You’re allowed to ask for help and support, and if the shoe was on the other foot, wouldn’t you want to offer that help and support to someone who really needed it?

When that voice of doubt has its teeth into you and you need support to feel strengthened, it’s time to call in your supporters.

How do you deal with self-doubt?

This article originally appeared on www.thecodeofextraordinarychange.com

Article source: http://tiny.cc/8be00x

Creating a Remix: Spicing Up Life When Life Gets Boring

By Dr Jaime Kulaga

"The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's greener where you water it." - Unknown.

"It is often possible to get greater enjoyment from what we are already doing, rather than try to find something else." - L. Don Siebet.

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet." - James Oppenheim.

YOU may have heard a couple of these quotes before. The reality is, many times we get tired of what we are currently doing in life and then we halt all operations to go find something new. 

When life gets boring... create a remix!

And halting doesn't always mean we halt the physical aspect, but it could mean we halt the mental aspect.

Meaning, we just shut down mentally and avoid, be mean or negative toward the current relationship or task. We cease using positive energy toward developing the old.

New means passion and excitement. That sounds very fulfilling and fun. But, don't new things get old at some point? Don't new things eventually get boring?

Think about a new hit on the radio that you love. You play it 100 times over on full blast and swear that you could never get sick of this one.

This song has a great beat and you can relate to every single word this singer is saying. But, after the 200th play, you find that you are quite sick of the song. How could that be?

You absolutely loved this one! Then, one day, as you are scanning the radio stations in traffic you hear that song.

Your beat just got a remix and it is mixed with an old song from "back in the day" when you were growing up!

This once boring song, with a little remix, was all you needed to be re-sparked before you found yourself singing at the top of your lungs in the car again.

Often, most everything that we want is right in front of us. It doesn't take an all-out manhunt of finding someone or something new to find happiness.

Happiness is often about rekindling the passion and spark with what you do have. So, go ahead, create that funky remix.

Here is an example of adding in a remix at work. In the workforce, you may find that you are sick of your job.

And while there are many reasons that it is a good idea to look for other work, there are also many reasons why you should or could stay and be happy doing it.

Try taking on a new project on a topic that interests you. Apply for an advancement or take on tasks that would align you with that advancement.

Get involved in work functions, and talk to more positive people at work.

Sometimes, relationships with partners get boring. We all go through a phase in life where we feel the spice is gone or the passion is drifting away.

Instead of putting in energy walking away from this person, use your energy to add excitement.

Talk together about the past and what added life to your relationship or look into each other's bucket lists and start knocking off some goals together. Listen to each other.

A great book on rekindling lost passion comes from Gary Chapman's, 'The Five Love Languages'.

Whatever it is in life that you have, before you walk away from it and expend your energy on finding something new, channel all that energy, positivity and time into what you currently have.

Being at a job for five years and choosing to put positive energy into it before leaving might yield passion, advancement and a greater sense of self-esteem and confidence.

These are the factors that lead to happiness.

Remember, if you're off to find something new, it will at one point get old, and you'll have to put just as much time and energy into that relationship, job or thing that you're being requested to do now.

Relationships can get boring, work can get boring, and songs on the radio can get boring. Instead of walking away from your favorite person, career or song, create a remix.

This week's goal: Find ways to add in a little mix to the areas within your life that you feel passion or excitement is slipping away from.

Dr. Jaime Kulaga is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Motivational Speaker.

She is the author of 'The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-by-Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance'.

She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops.

Dr. Kulaga has been featured internationally for her expertise in Work-Life Balance. http://www.mindfulrehab.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8960990

Set Yourself Free From Limiting Beliefs

By John Lee of YourBestYouEver.net

ONE of the biggest and most daunting blocks to anyone’s success in life is their limiting beliefs; the kind of beliefs that most of us pick up, primarily in childhood.

It can be a belief that we’re lacking in some way, that we’re never destined to achieve success in a particular area, or, saddest of all, that we’re not worthy of love.  

Life coach, author and spiritual teacher, Lloyd Burnett

 It may be something outside of our personal qualities, like a belief that money is a bad thing, that other people can’t be trusted, or that big corporations are all evil.

Identifying, tackling and overcoming these beliefs, so that they no longer control our thoughts and behavior, can be a major challenge, even for the most resourceful of people.

And that’s why I wanted to share this video interview with US life coach, author and spiritual teacher, Lloyd Burnett – conducted by Mind Movies’ Natalie Ledwell.

In the recording, Lloyd talks openly about his own struggles with self-limiting beliefs and how he first realized the negative impact they were having on the success he hoped to achieve.

He also talks about the nature of those beliefs, where they come from, how they tend to manifest themselves in people’s lives and how they can skew your vision.

Better still he shares 3 simple steps we can all use to begin banishing those mental blocks once and for all... plus there’s a link to some free training at his own personal website.

The video itself is only 18 or so minutes long and well worth a look. So click on the link below now to be taken to the original recording:

http://tiny.cc/1r75zx

Let Go of Your Fears... and Live

By Rose Costas

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” – Dorothy Thompson

ARE you, like me, constantly thinking, planning or worrying about the future and what it has in store?

Do you think about your financial situation and if there will be enough money to live a decent life? Do you sometimes worry that you will be alone and unhappy? You are not alone.  

Pic by www.quoteshunger.com

These are only a few of the many questions that flood our minds daily and for which we have no answers. We have chosen to live our lives in fear.

We have chosen to hold ourselves captive by the fear of the unknown.

It is fine to feel fear, as it is a natural emotion. But fear was never meant to keep us from going after our dreams. Fear should be your motivator, not your downfall.

Most of us are being held in bondage by fear.

Let go of all your fears and go out and live your life to its fullest. Make the decision today that you will no longer live in fear, but while you are working on achieving your goal you will enjoy life.

Here are a few tips that I practice that could help you to rid your life of fear.

1. Write down your fears

Writing down the things you are most afraid of will give you tangible evidence of the things you need to work on.

Try to find out why you’re so afraid of these specific things and if they are currently happening to you. If they aren’t, then they might never be a part of your future either.

Don’t be driven by your fears.

2. Live in the moment

Do not worry about the future, as your future is every minute you are alive, and if bad things are not happening to you, then they most likely won’t.

This moment is all you have and this moment, believe it or not, is your future.

You are living in the future as you live minute by minute. The trouble is you are looking at yourself 10, 20 years down the road, and not at your ‘now’.

3. Do not project your misery

When you spend your time worrying and fearing the unknown you are projecting your misery that you think you will have then, now. You are torturing yourself prematurely and without reason.

If you are happy now, why then are you worrying about the day you won’t be happy? Live in the moment, because this moment is all you have and might be all you will ever have.

4. Tame your mind

If you allow your mind to take control of you, it will.

Your mind is like an untamed animal and must be restrained to remain under your control. You must discipline your mind to stay within the limits of what is good, positive and healthy.

Do not allow your mind to take you places that you do not want to go. Stay on familiar ground or places that bring you the happiness and the joy you want.

If you are beginning to feel sad, worried or fearful, remove your mind from that place and go back to a place of tranquility, positive vibes and happiness.

5. Don’t shift the blame

It is nobody’s fault you are unhappy, sad, fearful and or worried. It is all yours. You choose to allow your mind to go to places you do not belong.

Just imagine you have suffered a bad divorce or broken relationship. The first thing you are going to say is, ‘Why did he or she do this to me?’ No, instead, ask yourself, ‘Why am I doing this to me?’

Nobody is doing anything to you. You are the person in control of your emotions, and you are the one who is allowing yourself to feel this way.

6. The past is kind

The past is over. The pain and hurt are behind you. The past is very kind to us because it leaves. It is the past. Everything will be in the past some day.

None of what you are currently going through will last forever, and in a few weeks, months or even a few years you will look back and it too will be in your past.

The past is very kind as it keeps getting further and further away from you. The pain - even though great - is becoming a distant memory, and soon it will be remembered no more.

7. The future is amazing

The future is as bright as you want it to be. Think of the pain in your past and how wonderful you are feeling now, at this very moment. Isn’t it wonderful when you can feel this good?

That is the reason the future must be viewed as wonderful and pleasant.

Whatever you want your future to be, live as though it is, because it can be, if you want it to be. The future is amazing and fabulous because it is here now.

We all fear the unknown at some point or another in our lives, but none of us should allow those fears to keep us down.

Overcome your fears by being courageous enough to pick yourself up when you hit rock bottom. Falling is not the end and doesn’t mean you are a failure. Quitting is failing.

About the Author

Rose Costas is a big believer in the power of facing your challenges head on, and that boldly wearing your scars can help others triumph over their own challenges.

An accountant by profession with a passion for writing and blogging, Rose can help you to get back the fire that once burned within you, starting with her eBook “31 Ways to Build Your Confidence Today.” At www.positiveattitudesforlife.com

This article first appeared at http://www.successconsciousness.com

Article source: http://tiny.cc/3rjpzx

8 Ideas To Get You Off Your BUT

By Lisa Zaccagnini

"If we stay where we are - where we're stuck, where we're comfortable and safe - we die there."

"But new is scary, and new can be disappointing and confusing - we had this all figured out. And now we don't. New is life." - Anne Lamott, Help Thanks Wow: The Three Essential Prayers

WHAT stories are you holding on to from your past? Where have you become so comfortable that you are afraid to move away or forward toward the unknown?

I hear this all the time. As a life coach, clients come to me because there is something niggling inside of them to make a change.  

Sound familiar? Time to get off your BUT!

But they are so stuck in what they know to be familiar and comfortable that they feel afraid to venture out toward what is unknown and uncomfortable.

At that point they are ready to hear me say, "Well, it sounds like you are ready to GET OFF YOUR BUT."

I want to write a book. I know what I want the book to be about, I know what the chapters will look like, I know the message I want my readers to take away from the experience.

I don't know how to write a book, but that is why I have a writing coach.

She is helping me work through all of the ‘ins’ and ‘outs’ about what it takes to write this book, how to stay clear with my message and how to work through the pain of the message.

Here comes my BUT... I don't have time to just sit and write, BUT I don't know how to write like the authors that I like reading.

BUT I am stuck on the message of this one particular chapter, BUT what if no one wants to read what I have to share... and on and on I go.

Please feel free to insert your BUT where appropriate. You don't have to be writing a book to understand the BUT:

1) What are the things in your life that you are procrastinating about or putting off doing?

2) What is it about that task or job or project that compels you to make excuses; put it off? What are you afraid to face in tackling that task?

3) What is it inside of you that seems to drive you to feel the way you do about putting off the project, job or task?

These are questions I ask myself each and every time I have to face my procrastination, my excuses or my BUT about writing this book.

None of these excuses or BUTS, however, matter at all because the time not spent facing the fears and doubts puts off my accomplishment of writing the book.

I can see the end result in my mind, I know what I want to achieve yet I let my doubts and excuses take over.

So how can I stay focused on the prize? How can I put the excuses aside and get to work on what is important to me?

I have to change my perspective toward the task. I have to break the task down into bite size pieces so that I don't feel so overwhelmed:

1) What could you do to think and feel differently about the task?

2) What can you keep in front of you that would inspire you to think differently about the task?

3) As you think about that object or affirmation in front of you, how does it help you?

4) How would this object change you and challenge you to achieve your goal?

I am a person that likes visual cues to help inspire me toward action. I share the Whispers from my Wallpaper in the hopes that these whispers will inspire you as well.

"What I like most about change is that it is a synonym for 'hope'. If you are taking a risk, what you are really saying is, 'I believe in tomorrow and I will be part of it'."-  Linda Ellerbee

The risk I take is by pushing my own fear limits and seeing myself breaking free from the feeling of being frozen in place.

Ultimately I DO want to complete my book, I DO want to get my message out, I DO want to achieve this dream of becoming a published author.

So, I DO believe in tomorrow and I want to be a part of it. I DO believe that I can find what it takes to make this dream a reality.

Here are 8 creative ways to help you GET OFF YOUR BUT and I don't want to hear anything about why these ideas can't work for you. No excuses allowed...

1) Make a game out of your task. Compete against yourself with time increments by challenging yourself to get something done in 3 minutes, 7 minutes, or 10 minutes.

Then rest and do it again. If small treats work best then by all means treat yourself to something good for you.

2) As I do most often, break up the task into bite-size pieces. You can do this by the hour or by the day. Something accomplished is better than nothing accomplished at all.

3) Create a deadline for yourself and go a step further and be accountable to someone for the completion of this deadline.

4) Set up a schedule of these bite size pieces on your calendar. Monday, do research, Tuesday do interviews, Wednesday write a rough draft, Thursday send emails, etc.

You can play with the time of day or stick to a specific time each day to take each action step.

5) Get help. Do you need training, assistance, a work buddy, a proof reader? Don't be afraid to ask for help.

6) Think about what time of day you are most productive to tackle the pieces of the task that require the most energy from you.

If one of your strengths is problem-solving, what time of day do you feel most alert and energetic to problem solve?

To keep the "fun" in getting your task done, change up your action steps so that you don't get into too much of a routine and lose momentum.

7) Make sure you get enough to eat and drink throughout your day and most of all make sure you are getting enough sleep at night.

8) Take breaks throughout your actions steps to ensure a fresh mind and body.

Now that you are armed and ready to get your task completed there is no reason for the BUT.

What would be really nice is to see your BUTT dancing in celebration because you got your job done and your confidence blooming.

I would love to hear how these procrastination busters are working for you. Your story could help someone else so please share what is working.

Please visit http://www.journeyoncoaching.com for more articles like this one.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9064504