SHMILY!

 By John Lee and Laura Jeanne Allen

As a subscriber to Bob Proctor's 'Insight Of The Day', every Friday I receive an inspiring and uplifting story. And here's one I especially wanted to share.

It's by a lady called Laura Jeanne Allen and first appeared in the book, 'Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul'. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Best wishes,

John

My grandparents were married for over half a century, and played their own special game from the time they had met each other. The goal of their game was to write the word "shmily" in a surprise place for the other to find. They took turns leaving "shmily" around the house, and as soon as one of them discovered it, it was their turn to hide it once more.

They dragged "shmily" with their fingers through the sugar and flour containers to await whoever was preparing the next meal. They smeared it in the dew on the windows overlooking the patio where my grandma always fed us warm, homemade pudding with blue food coloring.

"Shmily" was written in the steam left on the mirror after a hot shower, where it would reappear bath after bath. At one point, my grandmother even unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper to leave "shmily" on the very last sheet. There was no end to the places "shmily" would pop up.

Little notes with "shmily" scribbled hurriedly were found on dashboards and car seats, or taped to steering wheels. The notes were stuffed inside shoes and left under pillows. "Shmily" was written in the dust upon the mantel and traced in the ashes of the fireplace.

This mysterious word was as much a part of my grandparents' house as the furniture. It took me a long time before I was able to fully appreciate my grandparents' game. Skepticism has kept me from believing in true love – one that is pure and enduring.

However, I never doubted my grandparents' relationship. They had love down pat. It was more than their flirtatious little games – it was a way of life. Their relationship was based on a devotion and passionate affection which not everyone is lucky enough to experience.

Grandma and grandpa held hands every chance they could. They stole kisses as they bumped into each other in their tiny kitchen. They finished each other's sentences and shared the daily crossword puzzle and word jumble.

My grandma whispered to me about how cute my grandpa was, how handsome and old he had grown to be. She claimed that she really knew "how to pick 'em." Before every meal they bowed their heads and gave thanks, marveling at their blessings – a wonderful family, good fortune, and each other.

But there was a dark cloud in my grandparents' life – my grandmother had breast cancer. The disease had first appeared ten years earlier. As always, Grandpa was with her every step of the way. He comforted her in their yellow room, painted that way so that she could always be surrounded by sunshine, even when she was too sick to go outside.

Now the cancer was again attacking her body. With the help of a cane and my grandfather's steady hand, they went to church every morning. But my grandmother grew steadily weaker until, finally, she could not leave the house anymore.

For a while, grandpa went to church alone, praying for God to watch over his wife. Then one day, what we all dreaded finally happened. Grandma was gone.

"SHMILY" There it was again – scrawled in bright yellow ink on the pink ribbons of my grandmother's funeral bouquet. As the crowd thinned and the last mourners turned to leave, my aunts, uncles, cousins and other family members came forward and gathered around grandma one last time.

Grandpa stepped up to my grandmother's casket and, taking a shaky breath, he began to sing to her very softly. Through his tears and grief, the old song came, a deep throaty lullaby. Shaking with my own sorrow, I will never forget that moment. For I knew that, although I couldn't begin to fathom the depth of their love, I had been privileged to witness its unmatched beauty.

"S-h-m-i-l-y....... See How Much I Love You!"

Laura Jeanne Allen

The Best Way to Manage or Deal With Negative People

By Heidi E Vincent

Very few people realize how the people they associate with can positively or negatively affect their health. If you've ever been around a motivational speaker, for example, have you noticed how after listening to that person you feel as though you can conquer the world?

On the other hand, if you've had occasion to be in the company of a negative person, you might remember how tired you felt around that person. That tiredness you felt was a physical manifestation of the negative energy that person was transmitting to you.

At various stages in your life, you will meet negative people. Recognizing the behaviour of a negative person, realizing it for what it is and learning to manage or deal with negative people – at work, at home, on a committee, in your church – will help you maintain your inner peace and preserve your health.

Positive thinking - the best way to deal with negative people

Your mind and body operate very much like a computer system – Garbage In, Garbage Out (GIGO). If you eat the right foods and exercise regularly, you will look and feel good physically and mentally. If you keep company with positive individuals you are more likely to experience positive emotions and have a positive outlook on life.

This does not mean that you will not have challenges and disappointments. What it does mean is that you will handle or confront those challenges and disappointments in a positive manner that will allow you to make good of the challenge or disappointment.

Avoid negative people like the plague! They sap all your energy and steal your joy. Nothing is ever good for a negative person and there is always something wrong with something or someone. If you bring a negative person to a lovely place with breath-taking scenery, they're likely to say "Oh the view is OK, but it took so long to get here", or "I was expecting it to be more scenic".

If you take them to the best restaurant with the most delicious foods, they'll complain that the food could have been served hotter or how they could have made 'XYZ' dish much better or what 'ABC' dish was missing.

If you take them to an award-winning movie, with an excellent plot and the best actors, they'll complain that the cinema was too cold or that 'X' actor had on too much make-up or looked too fat.

If you take them to see Olympic figure skating, with the world's best ice skaters and world-class ice dancing performances, they'll complain that the colour of the female skater's outfit wasn't right or the couple skating didn't look good together.

Well you get the picture! Something can't just be good, full stop, for negative people. They always could do it better or find some minute, infinitesimal problem or flaw.

Believe me! There is nothing you can do to change a negative person. Just safeguard yourself, your emotions and your health. Stay away! Keep them at arm's length!

Now sometimes despite your best efforts, you cannot avoid them because they work or live with you. So what do you do if you're living or working with a negative person or negative people? Here is some useful advice.

1. Reduce the amount of time spent in that person's company.
Restrict the time spent with that person to only what is absolutely necessary to complete the project at work or complete the meal at the dining table. Do not spend any more time than is absolutely necessary in their company. You need to be military about it.

2. Politely excuse yourself from their company.
Go find some task to do where you will be out of their reach or retire to the privacy of your room or office or some other space where you will be undisturbed.

3. Change the conversation topic.
You should have learned by now the conversation topics that trigger negativity with this person. Stay clear of those topics when you are in the company of this negative person. Whenever they try to bring up that topic which leads to negativity, quickly change the subject.

When you change the subject, though, avoid deep or controversial topics. Stick to light topics and keep changing the subject so they don't have time to dwell on any one topic and dig out reasons to be negative.

4. Avoid getting into an argument at all costs.
An argument is always icing on the cake for a negative person because then they've succeeded in ruining your mood. If they throw a comment your way that makes you 'see red'. Stop.

Smile to yourself and do not respond. Often that comment was deliberately meant to rile you up. So do not give them the satisfaction of evoking the response they wanted – your anger and an argument.

5. Tune them out mentally.
Do not give the negative person control over your mental space. You may not have control over what they say or do but you do have control over your own mind and what you do. Tune them out in your mind by thinking about something or somewhere pleasant in order to counter their negative energy.

This is by far the most powerful tool to deal with a negative person, especially when you are in a situation where you cannot change the subject or get away – like a meeting with your boss.

In conclusion, I will remind you of the wise words of Hippocrates, the ancient Greek physician: "Men ought to know that from nothing else but the brain come joys, delights, laughter and sports, and sorrows, griefs, despondency and lamentations."

A negative person is an unhappy person. So guard your mind and by extension your health against negative people, whether at work or at home.

"Your career and life will change for the better when you learn to surround yourself with positive people and keep the negative ones away." – author unknown.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Heidi_E_Vincent

Dealing With Negative People

With John Lee and Natalie Ledwell 

If you're genuinely trying to live a more positive and fulfilling life – the kind of life you truly want –one of the most challenging factors or influences that you have to overcome is negative people.

With a few simple words, they can dissolve your enthusiasm, knock your confidence and install doubt in your mind. Worse still, they can have you thinking and speaking the way they do.

And we all know such people – often they're friends, family and partners. They're not bad people and they don't mean to bring us down. In fact, they only have our best interests at heart.

Or at least they think they do.

But they're operating from a different place and have a different frame of mind that they probably learned years ago and keeps them locked in a certain way of thinking. A limited way of thinking.

So how do you 'cope' with these people? How do you co-exist without them affecting your attitude and deflecting you from your chosen path?

Well, Natalie Ledwell, of the excellent Mind Movies team, has some great advice in this free video. It's just a few minutes long. Click the link below and you'll be taken to the original recording.

==> Click here now <==

The Challenges of Making a Change to a Behaviour Pattern

By Suzie Doscher

Change is not easy, nor simple. If you have been told you should change but are not really convinced that this is true, you are more likely to fail at completing the process.

Personally I recognize the process to be complete when I no longer remember 'what I was like before'. Someone still in denial about the need to change will not get very far.

Chances are there will always be excuses in the form of – 'I do not have the time for this right now', 'I am busy', 'I already know how to...', 'It is not my fault, you do not understand', 'A leopard cannot change its spots', 'I am too old...' etc.

Change - a completely natural process


Change can only really happen if you are ready to take action.

Research shows 90 per cent of the strategies designed for change assume people are ready to take action. In reality only 20 per cent of the people already involved in some process of change are actually ready to take action.

This helps explain why so many attempts to keep New Year's resolutions – lose weight, change behaviours, etc – are doomed to failure.

It is most helpful and supportive and will increase your chances of successfully completing a change if you can engage the help of a friend or life coach.

They will help you by being totally honest, motivate, encourage and in general offer the kind of support you will benefit from.

Specifically how to offer this support varies from individual to individual so make sure you communicate clearly how you need them to be.

The most successful way to approach changing a behavior pattern is to:

* Realize and acknowledge that things can no longer stay the same.

* Accepting that it is possible to do things differently.

* Take the time to gather the necessary knowledge, insights and support.

* Raise your awareness to how your life will change in a positive way by making this change. 'Pros' and 'cons' lists tend to work.

* Decide what steps need to be taken to move in the right direction.

* Recognize any denial, dis-empowering, defensive or self-sabotaging behavior.

* Understand and accept that you, and your life are worth this effort.

* Recognize and work through the obstacles and possible self-sabotage routines that appear.

*Most importantly celebrate your success.

Remember for this to be successful you need time, a lot of patience with yourself, and to know that you will have some setbacks along the way...all part of the process.

"If you believe you can, or cannot – you are right."

Suzie Doscher is a life coach focusing on personal development. This article is designed to give you support for you to master your steps towards behavioral, emotional and intellectual change.

It aims to offer you tools to help cope with all the stress associated with today's lifestyle and work demands. May even just one line inspire you.

Please also visit: http://suziedoscher.com, or http://coachgroupofch.ch

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Suzie_Doscher

Trust Your Inner Wisdom

With Lolly Daskal

Lolly Daskal

Sometimes, I ask leaders what has made them successful?

Many do not mention intuition at all, even though they might claim the importance of their inner wisdom as they make decisions.

What is inner wisdom?

Inner wisdom is a tool for quick and ready insight. It’s a gut feeling, a sixth sense, an inner knowing, an instinct. It’s a hunch, a stillness, a quiet inner voice.

Inner wisdom is not a magic switch you can turn on when you need counsel. Yet your intuitive mind tells your logical mind where to look next.

Too many thoughts...

We each have 60,000 thoughts a day. We may feel it is impossible to follow or control our thinking. We can hear our thoughts. We can acknowledge them.

Many times we don’t act upon them. Instead we set them aside. Without knowing it, we are making decisions all the time, moment by moment.

We want to get it right. We may have trouble tuning in and trusting ourselves.

When should you tune in?

* When there is insufficient data 
* When you need to make a decision quickly 
* When there is too much information 

* When the data is inconsistent 
* When your individual or group vision has become confusing. 

* When you’re stuck 
You can use your intuition to come up with the right answers while you use your logic and skills to improve what you already know. 
What is your intuitive self?

We are all born with intuition. Some of us can tap into it more easily than others but the more you practice using it, the better you will be.

Using your gut is like working your muscles when you exercise. As you use it, you’ll get stronger. Each of us has experienced it. We need to learn how to listen to ourselves and act on our intuition.
Our intuition tells us the truth of who we are and what we can do. Our intuition can help us find direction and purpose.

Exercising Your Intuition: 

STATE – State your problem, circumstance, or situation. Frame the problem in a form of a question.

PAUSE – Take a break from thinking about your problem or concern. Enjoy down time enjoying yourself. Just allow yourself to be.
OBSERVE – Watch yourself and observe your thought and action patterns. Do not judge or make assumptions.

SURRENDER – Remember, you cannot force your mind to find new insights. They will come when you least expect it. Let go of the what ifs and the what should. Do not let these thoughts cloud your mind.

KNOW - If you need more information about your problem, circumstance, or situation, get it.

ASK – Ask open ended questions. What can I do about this? What else do I need to know? These types of questions will spur intuitive insights.

LISTEN – Listen for the answers. Be willing to be surprised by what you discover.

WRITE – in order to get CLEAR and take out a pen and paper and write down your thoughts and solutions. Which one FEELS best to you? Pay attention to the first option that comes to mind, since research shows that our first impression are often the best, since they are not contaminated by fear, anxiety, and wishful thinking.

TRUST – Trust what you discover. Take a bold step forward. Keep checking in and asking questions.

TRUST AGAIN – Trust the process with certainty to give you clarity in a circumstance. If you have to make a quick decision, go with your first impulse. Go with your gut. Go with your inner wisdom.
Trusting your gut is not magical or mystical. Instead, it is recognizing the language and sensation of what you know and what you are consistently acting on.

Lead From Within: Trusting your intuition will help you have respect for your inner voice, let go of resistance to change, conquer fear and doubt and find the inner strength to move from procrastination, confusion, and stagnation to a world of clarity, action, and confidence while expressing who you truly are.

Lolly Daskal is a speaker, business and life coach, a consultant, an author and a successful entrepreneur. She has helped countless clients and organizations experience success and organizational change. Visit her website at www.lollydaskal.com

5 Common Myths About Setting Goals

With Brian Tracy

Research has proven that people who have carefully-formulated, concrete, written goals achieve much more in their lives than people who don't.

Yet only a very small percentage of adults actually set goals for what they'd like to achieve in life and then work towards them. Why should this be?

One of the personal development world's most respected practitioners for over 30 years, Brian Tracy cites 5 common myths about setting goals that prevent people making the most of this invaluable skill.

Click on the link below and you'll be taken to the original five-minute video, where Brian reveals all.

http://tiny.cc/5CommonMyths

Personal development expert for over 30 years - Brian Tracy

Ever Feel Like Your'e Paddling Upstream?

By John Lee and Dr Robert Anthony

We're all aware of the concept of 'flow' in leading a happy and trouble-free life. All you need to do - as you've probably been told on more than one occasion - is 'relax and go with the flow...' That way you're sure to be in harmony with the world around you and everything will be fine.

But that's easier said than done sometimes, isn't it? Just when everything seems to be running smoothly, you suddenly hit a bump in the road and there's anything BUT 'flow' in your life. That's exactly what happened to me recently, when my boss decided to change my role, 'to better meet the needs of the company'.

It was a complete smack in the mouth - especially as I had no say in the matter. I could basically 'like it or lump it', so my first reaction was to get angry and kick against the change as hard as I could. But then I remembered about 'flow' and happened to receive one of the regular emails I get from one of my favourite personal development specialists, Dr Robert Anthony.

The author of excellent programmes like The Secret of Deliberate Creation, Deliberate Creation Instant Self-Hypnosis and Self-Confidence Creator, he has a way of explaining esoteric and intangible concepts, such as 'flow', in a clear, concise and practical way. I took his advice - the email in question being reproduced below - and not only have I managed to embrace the change, to my surprise I've unearthed several benefits.

Maybe 'flow' really does work, after all.... Now here's that email:

"Life is like taking a trip on the river and reacting to the FLOW. It is always about the FLOW. The problem is most people take their boat down to the river, put it in the river and then they invariably turn it UPSTREAM and start paddling hard against the current. It never occurs to them to go downstream because they think they have to struggle to have what they want.

Here is a simple idea.  Why not go WITH the current instead of fighting AGAINST the current? But you may say, "Struggle and hard work is the only way to get what you want." That's crazy!

Here is the important point - NOTHING YOU WANT IS UPSTREAM. Ever!

Every bit of struggle and determination, all that "I am going to heal myself", "I am going to fix this", "I am going to make this better", all of that has you focused UPSTREAM.

What I want is for you to feel the ease of letting go of struggle. You don't even have to turn your boat around in the stream and begin paddling downstream - just let go of the oars (struggle) and the current will turn you automatically!

This is not about teaching you to go with the stream because you have no choice. This is about asking the question and helping you answer it. Are you going willingly? Are you going toward your natural unfolding willingly, or are you going to continue to paddle upstream? In every moment the choice of which way you are going to go is yours."

Please Don't Feed the Monkeys - 5 Tips for Practicing Unconditional Love

By Tammy Davis

Let's face it, we're trained! We are about as trained as Pavlov's dogs; probably even more so.

On any given day, if someone looks at us the 'wrong' way, BAM! it's on. What 'on' is depends on how we are raised. Some of us yell, while some shut down and walk away. Others become obnoxiously arrogant and, many times, bitchy all because they're reacting to circumstances. However, it really isn't that simple because the situation perceived as prompting our reaction is not exactly what triggered it.

On any given day, many of us not only have this moment to think about, we are also streaming thoughts from days gone by, as well as projecting those experiences onto times to come. In other words, our heads are consumed with chatter, reducing our ability to clearly be here, right now. We've accepted this as normal. And for all intents and purposes it is normal since nearly all of us have a monkey mind running our lives.

This is how we get through our days! Our parents did it, as did their parents. We're breeding generations of worriers and multi-taskers. However, we've upped the game when it comes to mental multi-tasking. Unfortunately, this particular skill isn't highly marketable and most definitely interferes with our ability to interact with other human beings on a heart level.

Each of us is engaged in our own private history, feeding the monkeys with more and more of our 'what ifs?', 'shoulds', doubts, resentments, and fears - completely negating any experience with the person in front of us. And there's no reason to feel bad about this because he or she is more than likely doing something similar with you! (Keep in mind, 9 out of 10 times, we aren't even responding to the situation at hand - we are lost in the zoo, grooming the monkeys of the past and the future.)

Now, just for a moment, let's visit another zoo - the one contained within the mind of the person in front of you. They are also accustomed to being treated a certain way, albeit good and bad. You see, each of us is trained in our attention-getting skills. If we want to get any attention, we repeat what we know until we get what we want.

Over time, these habits become so familiar we don't even realize we're doing it. Sometimes the reaction is good and sometimes not so good. However, we are in the limelight AND it us great reasons for why some people are good to have around and why others suck.

With this said, in order to actually change our experience of people and life, it's necessary to release the monkey. Unconditional love is a gift AND it does not have to be reciprocated (expecting it in return is not unconditional).



Give the gift of unconditional love

Bring peace to your heart and mind - give people the opportunity to be themselves and love them for 'where they are'. For example, what would it be like if  - instead of raging at you because you spent too much money - your partner simply held a safe place, discussing why this expenditure didn't work and what he or she would like to see differently?

Allow me to expand. What if you were used to being yelled at for certain choices throughout most of your life and now you're being treated in an entirely different way - a loving way? How would that strike you? My guess is it would potentially amaze you, because it is a very unfamiliar response to receive.

Yet, THIS is what I propose will fundamentally shift our lives. When we actually interact with one another in the moment rather than nurture the monkeys of yesteryear AND days to come! So, without further delay, here are my five recommendations for practicing unconditional love. I've applied them and frequently encourage my clients to do the same:

1) Respond rather than react - Reactions stem from prior experience. We are 're-acting out' old times. Put another way, in a split second something sparks our memory whether we know it or not and in a blink of an eye, our behavior is very reminiscent of another time and possibly another place. So we find ourselves re-performing a familiar act because it worked then, so why not now?

Responding, on the other hand, is a disengagement from the monkey, long enough to become centered in order to generate warmth and understanding from the heart. It's these heartfelt moments that create new ways of being for all involved. So the next question begs - repeat the past or follow the beat of your heart and learn a new dance?

2) One great way to accomplish giving a heartfelt response is by NOT taking things personally. Remember, 90% of the time, people are not talking with you or to you - they are reacting to something else going on in their head! The sooner we begin to see this AND get out of our own head, the sooner we will be spreading the love.

3) Acknowledge and verbalize your feelings when appropriate. In times of upset, many of us feel like raging, crying, jumping up and down, etc. However, what I typically hear is a fear of the emotion lasting for longer than desired. So we hold it in, doing more harm than good, OR we let it loose, wreaking havoc on everyone.

Neither is a beneficial option because they are reactions bringing us to an acknowledgment of the feelings. This response is a kind way of honoring both you and everyone else involved. It's you stating your discomfort which, in turn, lets the other person know exactly what's going on without harm to either person. Greater things are possible from this point.

4) Along the same lines as number 3, take a moment or two to acknowledge your perception of how the other person is also feeling. This keeps the heart interaction flowing and opening the door for tremendous connection and healing.

5) Once you've reached this point, you'll be able to determine the best way to proceed. Often times, the situation warrants waiting a little while before engaging any further and letting the other person know you are open to talking - just not right now - demonstrates a desire for a peaceful interaction as well as a genuine interest in them.

This is a BIG DEAL because there are so many people walking around this planet feeling like they aren't worth the time or good enough to be loved, and your request to carry on at another time will give them something extraordinary to work with in lieu of feeding those darn monkeys.

Tammy Davis, holistic health & nutrition coach/writer, Taos, NM. Contact me today with any questions!

http://ezinearticles.com/?expert_bio=Tammy_Davis for additional insights and information. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tammy_Davis

Harnessing the Power of Intention

By John Lee

Having and focusing on the right 'intention' is one of the most powerful weapons available to anyone seeking to achieve a certain goal or create a particular lifestyle.

Mind Movies' Natalie Ledwell


Whatever you're attempting to manifest - whether it be better health, your ideal partner, a new job, car or home, or simply greater abundance - it can be major factor in success or failure.

But understanding and harnessing the true power of intention and making it work in your favour can be more difficult than it sounds, because it requires a certain shift in consciousness.

In this enlightening video, which lasts about 10 minutes, Mind Movies' Natalie Ledwell talks about her own experience and offers her personal perspective.

Just click on the link below. And I'd love to know what you think...

http://tiny.cc/POT

The Power of Words

By John Lee

I saw this intelligent, beautifully conceived and actually quite inspiring video the other day and wanted to share it with others.

As the title suggests, it's all about the potential that a few simple words have for bringing about change, both great and small.

It's only a couple of minutes' long and well worth a look. It will surely make you smile and, hopefully, think.

Make sure you have your sound on and ==> Click here

Do You Trust Your Self?

By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

That question might seem off the wall, because doesn't everyone trust him/her Self? Is it not a given everyone trusts him/her Self? Do you or someone you know have issues with trusting people?

At some time in your life you have probably said, "I can't trust___(fill in the blank). However, did you know that it is not typically 'them' that you can not trust? It is your Self!! Wow! That is a huge statement.

Your body and the world around you will give you all the signals you need to navigate through life. Physical pain, dysfunctional relationships, career issues, addictions, etc. are all symptoms to ring the bell that something is not working.

Your sensory nerves tell you when the flame is hot. Your mind interprets that signal and tells the hand to move further away. Simple enough – right? But when it relates to the many aspects in navigating your life, you make mistakes in the interpretation or fail to act even though you know the truth of the matter.

The majority of people fail to allow the signal to register. Intuition is ignored in favor of the indoctrinations and conditioned beliefs that have been accepted as iron clad truths. Thus, rocky relationships continue in spite of many red flag warnings, primarily to protect the ego – because no one wants to acknowledge a mistake. However, there are no mistakes in the universal law of life.

Every person who comes to my office with relationship trust issues admits – once we have done the work – that she/he had all the information that was needed within the first hour, date or a maximum of three dates to determine that the relationship would be on rocky ground.

Yet she/he chose to ignore his/her intuitive knowing because she/he was lonely, needy or worst of all needed a way to continue self-sabotaging behavior. She/he thought this person would be the exception, or another excuse to continue a pattern of dysfunctional choices.

We have all done the same thing or something similar, in our quest for emotional and spiritual evolvement. Some people then, blame the other person(s) without taking any responsibility. They might blame God, life or whoever else can be blamed as long as one can avoid taking responsibility.

So what do you do about it?

The first thing you need to do is take responsibility for your choices – good, bad or neutral. As soon as you take responsibility for your choices – no matter what – you have empowered your Self to make better choices next.

Secondly, you need to know who you are as best as you can. You need to recognize your weaknesses, your shadow. You need to accept what is really motivating you at every moment, especially when it is with regard to people and close relationships.

Your weaknesses that might hinder your intuition will include loneliness, financial issues, insecurity, or low self-esteem. Your need to compensate for your weaknesses will prompt you to overlook the signals; from the other person, who may not have your best interests at heart. Remember, the other person is operating from the desire to fulfill his/her needs and compensate for weaknesses.

Consider this experiment. Think about a relationship that went sour. Start from the first moment you met him/her. Did you allow your Self to 'read' the signals? At what point in the relationship did she/he give you all the information you needed to know that the relationship was on rocky ground?

The signals include the way she/he speaks about previous relationships, the way she/he treats service personnel in a restaurant, the way she/he speaks to you or treats you, or sometimes she/he has a distinctly different philosophy about life than yours.

Next time; you notice any signals – that something might not be all that you hoped it would be – take a breath, step back, and take your time with the relationship. Listen to your intuition. Pay close attention to what you are learning about the other person and to your feelings regarding it.

The most important part is this: act accordingly. No denial or ignoring these signals. Consider them a gift that you can use to prevent your Self from being in the wrong relationship, friendship or business relationship. If you receive negative signals, you need to overcome your neediness and weaknesses to do what is truly right for you.

Because in the end, it not about trusting him/her – it is you trusting your Self to do exactly what you need for you. It is all about trusting your Self. Because if you trust your Self, then everyone you choose will meet your needs of trust, integrity and respect that is required for a healthy relationship.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, metaphysician – certified hypnosis practitioner, author and speaker. Dr. Dorothy facilitates clearing blocks, fears and limiting beliefs. You can live the life you desire. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's thoughts and feelings. http://www.drdorothy.net

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dorothy_M._Neddermeyer,_PhD

How To Enhance Your Visualisation

By Stuart Mills

“Visualization” is now more commonly known as a buzz word used by professionals and leading entrepreneurs, but the actual process of visualizing has been around ever since humans first gained consciousness. When we think, we use our imagination to help bring our thoughts ‘to life’, and the brain accomplishes this by using images.

For example, if you were to think of an elephant, then an image of an elephant would appear in your mind.

Did it just happen? Did you ‘see’ an elephant in your mind? It did with me. That’s the power of visualization in action – bringing to ‘life’ whatever we imagine or think of.

But although we visualize all of the time, we are rarely aware of it. When we are aware, we use the buzz word “visualization” to label it, but those times that we aren’t aware of still affect our sub-conscious mind. The images we think of still have an effect on us even if we don’t know it – in fact, they shape much of our belief patterns and ways of living. In other words, what we think, we become.

How To Enhance Your Visualization

We can take some steps to enhance our visualizing when we are aware of it. We can consciously choose what to imagine, and this can then affect our sub-conscious mind, which then affects our life. Here are 4 tips to enhance your visualizing:

1. Use More Of Your Senses

When we normally visualize, we only use our ‘mind sight’ – that which we see with our mind’s eye. What we don’t do is utilize our other senses, such as our sense of smell, our sense of hearing, and our sense of touch.

If you wish to consciously practice visualization in order to gain a happier life, then I believe you will gain better results if you added more depth to the visuals. Our unconscious visualizing only consists of basic images that are just enough to leave an imprint on our subconscious mind, but nothing more.

By adding different senses into the practice, and asking yourself questions such as “What sounds can I hear?” and “What smells can I smell?” you can increase the feeling of actually ‘living’ your visualization and increase its power.

Here are some tips for each of the different senses:

* Ears – What sounds are you likely to hear when you visualize your better life? If you’re visualizing a conference where you’re the key speaker, what sounds would you be likely to hear in the building? How about if you’re helping out at a volunteer centre, what sounds would you hear then?

* Nose – What types of smell and scents would there be? If you’re in a plush building complex, how would it smell? How would the air and snow on the mountain smell as you were climbing it?

* Touch – Imagine yourself touching and feeling a texture in your visualization – what sensations are you picking up? Can you imagine the soft embrace with your partner as you visualize a better relationship? Or the expensive leather on your new sports car?

2. Practice Deep Breathing

Often, when we attempt to practice visualization, we forget an important part – breathing.

Breathing is essential to life, yet most people do it automatically without any awareness of how they’re breathing. With deep breathing, we make a conscious attempt to regulate our breathing by extending both the in-breath and the out-breath, maximizing the benefits we receive from deeply inhaling and exhaling.

For visualization purposes, get yourself to start breathing for deeper and longer periods then you would normally. Do this before you start visualizing and let yourself relax.

If you aren’t relaxed and calm when you begin visualizing, it’s likely that you won’t be able to effectively imagine the results that you’d want to see. This may then lead to negative visualizing, or the prevention of further attempts at visualizing.

There are a number of resources available which can help you learn to breathe deeply and fully, and are definitely worth checking out. My favourite are the works of the Zen Buddhist Master Thich Nhat Hanh, but there are also others including Dr. Andrew Weil and Jon Kabat-Zinn who have provided information on helping you breathe more efficiently.

3. Work Your Way In Slowly

Something that goes hand-in-hand with deep breathing is the practice of ‘working your way in slowly’. Or in other words, ‘don’t rush’.

A common problem when people practice visualization is that they sit down, work hard to conjure up images in their head of the things they want to be, do, and have, and then get annoyed with themselves when they fail to experience the ‘feel-good’ factor that’s associated with the things we like.

Another problem is that some people successfully practice visualization and they recognize what they want from life, but when some time has passed and they haven’t received it, they get frustrated and blame ‘visualization’, believing it to be a waste of time.

The same situation has happened with both of these examples – the individual has rushed either the technique, or the results he/she wants to happen. In order to use visualization effectively, it’s important to slow down, relax and work your way in slowly.

If you’re attempting conscious visualization for the first time, please bear in mind that you won’t gain the perfect results – there’s every chance that you won’t be able to visualize effectively. Always be patient. Work your way in slowly for every visualization that you practice and enjoy the process rather than the result.

4. Remove Yourself From Guilt

I’ve touched upon what people visualize about, such as speaking in front of an engaged audience, or having a new car, or working in a volunteer centre, but there are some who feel guilty about what they want because they think it’s selfish, greedy, or it doesn’t serve the world in some way.

In order to visualize effectively, you need to rid yourself of the guilt. The best way to do this is to avoid focusing on yourself, such as ‘you having more money’, or ‘you having a better relationship’.   Instead, focus on what you can do for others using your talents and passions.

For example, focus on serving others and using your compassion to help the needy, rather than focus on making more money and living an easy lifestyle. When you focus exclusively on what you want, you ignore what you can do for others. “Helping and serving others leads to reward”, rather than “reward leads to helping and serving others”.

Guilt comes about when you begin to feel that you’re being too self-indulgent – focus on being yourself and doing what you can for others as well as yourself and the feeling of guilt will disappear.

Want To Celebrate Your 100th Birthday?

Post by John Lee

How is is that some people live to 100 years and beyond, and still lead active, exciting and fulfilling lives? Is there something special about them?

While genetics clearly has some influence, research has found that this is really just one element - there are other factors involved. And they're not all about healthy eating and exercise.

In this fun and enlightening video, Natalie Ledwell, of the Mind Movies team, presents the 'Top Six Habits' of those who've made it to 100 for living a longer and happier life.

Just click on the link below to be taken to the video:

==> http://tiny.cc/NatLed