Post by John Lee and feature by Mike I McClement

Whenever a New Year comes along, many people seem to approach this perceived milestone – even though it's a mere passage of time – with a certain amount of trepidation and often a very worthy determination to make their life more enjoyable.

So I thought this highly practical guide to building your self-confidence, self-belief and self-esteem by personal development coach, Mike McClement, might be a useful addition to my blog. As you'll see, it's full of great advice and is an excellent way to take stock of your life.

Over to Mike...

1. Know what you look like
Find out how people perceive you... if you look as though you lack confidence, then people will treat you as though you do. In other words, you're already on the back foot and it'll be a lot harder to get people to listen to you.

2. Sort out your body language
Like it or not, people suss you out quickly, mostly by taking in your body language and sound. So get yourself in front of a mirror and be honest with yourself. Do you look confident? If not, why not? Then practise looking confident. Look at your posture, your facial expression, your clothing... Sounds mad but it works.

Confident people are happy people

3. Don't say sorry
Are you a serial sorry sayer? A lot of people who lack confidence are. They apologise for everything. Well don't. Only apologise if your actions warrant an apology. Some people prefix everything they say with a 'sorry'. This is completely unnecessary and suggests you doubt yourself. You might as well hang a sign around your neck saying 'I lack confidence'.

4. Remember you're not unusual
Realise that you're not unusual. Even truly confident people have their ups and downs. They accept this as part of life. An embarrassing situation is an embarrassing situation.. so what? It happened, there's nothing you can change about it. So learn from it and move on.

5. Be realistic
Accept that you're not unlucky. No one was born confident. Confidence is a skill you can actually learn. Accept this and start to learn. Just like any other skill, it requires practice and self-discipline to get good at it. We can all do it as long as we accept the challenge.

6. Think positively
Understand your mindset. Be honest with yourself... are you a positive or negative thinker? Are you a pessimist or an optimist? This is important. It's impossible to feel and look confident if you approach life negatively. A problem is a challenge, a mistake is a lesson to be learnt, a failure is a fact of life.

7. Know where you're going
You'll achieve little, if nothing if you don't have a focus. So work out what you want to achieve, both at home and at work and write down a plan. Think strategically (say over 2 years) and more tactically (say 6 months). One leads on from the other - think strategically first and then decide what you need to do tactically to achieve this.

8. Be happy
Think carefully about what makes you happy and get some of it. Confident people tend to be happy people - just watch them and you'll see. That's because they've found a balance between the things they have to do and the things like doing. They're also realists. They accept that life is life and there are some things that just have to be done but they don't let these bog them down.

9. Smile more
Sounds mad but it's true. Smiling really does help you to feel and look more confident. Someone who walks into a room smiling looks confident. It's a fact. It's also true that smiling actually makes you feel happier. It releases endorphins into your system. This even happens when you make yourself smile... So it's worth the effort.

10. Control your emotions
Control your emotions but don't stifle them. Think about how you let them out. Don't make a fool of yourself. Take a deep breath, maybe a few minutes too and then explain your feelings in a controlled way. Confident people have the self-control to do this.

About the Author
Mike McClement is a Personal Development Coach and author on confidence. He is passionate about helping people develop their confidence and self esteem in both a personal and work environment.

To find out more about Mike visit http://www.think-confidence.com
Complete a free communication style questionnaire at http://www.think-confidence.com/questionnaires.html

(c) Mike McClement. All rights reserved worldwide

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_I_McClement

Wishing You A Wonderful Holiday Season!

Posted by John Lee I just wanted to wish everyone all the very best for the coming holiday season. And if you don't celebrate Christmas, then I wish you a very happy, healthy and peaceful time, and a joyful and prosperous New Year! Just turn on your sound and click below, where it says 'Play', to open the card. With love and good wishes to you and those you hold dear, John

copyright regards.com free ecards - click here to send this free e-card

'Brain Change Therapy' with Carol Kershaw & Bill Wade

Posted by John Lee

I just had to share this remarkable video from the team at Mind Movies, featuring an interview with Dr Carol Kershaw and Dr Bill Wade, co-authors of the book – 'Brain Change Therapy: Clinical Interventions for Self Transformation'.

Interviewed by Natalie Ledwell, Dr Kershaw and Dr Wade – an esteemed clinical psychologist and and an equally highly-regarded licensed professional counsellor, respectively – talk about their research into techniques such as mediation, EFT and visualization, and how they can help to bring about positive change.

Among the subjects covered are the brain's continued development throughout life, our ability to control our physical systems using our mind, how our mental state affects our attitudes, emotions, behaviour and so on, plus chemical and electrical activity in the brain and how this influences our emotional state.

They also explain how unhelpful thinking patterns can be actively corrected through training and practice – in a similar way to improving a bad golf swing, for example – and how this translates down to a neurological level, changing the brain's neural activity, as well as its size and functioning.

This is absolutely fascinating stuff and a must-see, especially if you've ever doubted the efficacy of practices such as meditation and found yourself in need of scientific reasoning and research to back them up. Just click on the link below to be taken to the video.

http://youtu.be/AJnLeKTSRC8



Dr Bill Wade and Dr Carol Kershaw, speak to Mind Movies' Natalie Ledwell

The Story of 'Gratitude Napkins'

Posted by John Lee

Ever doubted the power of gratitude and its ability to change your life for the better? Well, below is a wonderful story by international best-selling author and certified business and life coach, Linda McLean, which should convince anyone of what a great influence it can be.

Never under-estimate the power of gratitude

I received the story, quite recently, to my email inbox, as a subscriber to Bob Proctor’s brilliant ‘Insight of the Day’ service. I’m reproducing it here in full, simply because I wanted to share it with others. I hope you do too...

“Frank’s Diner was once an energized, thriving business, a favorite spot for locals and tourists alike in the scenic New England town of York Beach Maine. But when the economy hit a brick wall, Frank found it more and more difficult to hold onto his trademark, cheerful smile.

One day, Frank caught a glimpse in the mirror on the diner wall of a grumpy, scowling old man with frown lines embedded deeply in the corners of his mouth. He didn’t recognize the man as himself. Looking around his desolate diner, he knew that it wasn’t just the economy that had driven his customers away – it was his pessimistic attitude toward life. Frank had tried to remain optimistic but it seemed like the hits just kept coming, like a NorEaster pummeling the coastline. He often wondered what there was to look forward to each day.

His eyes met with a booth in the back corner of the diner where a frail elderly woman ate breakfast with a college-age girl. Mrs. Sheridan and her caregiver Michelle had been coming in for breakfast every day for a couple of years. Frank would nod and force his face into a smile when they walked in the door each day. They were his best customers after all. Mrs. Sheridan would conclude each meal by scribbling something onto a diner napkin and placing the napkin in her purse with a contented smile.

One sunny Fall day, even though the New England leaves painted a breathtaking landscape outside the diner windows, Frank was oblivious to the beauty that surrounded him. He was currently crouched under the counter, grumbling about how the dishwashers were always leaving spots on the coffee mugs. A feeble voice above interrupted his rant.

“Frank, I wonder if I could have a word with you.”

Frank nearly smashed his head on the cash register as he jumped to his feet, looking at Mrs. Sheridan in surprise. Michelle held onto the old woman tight, obviously propping her up. All Frank could do was nod agreeably.

“I wanted to talk to you about these…”

She lifted her trembling arm, pointing toward the frown lines on Frank’s face.

He opened his mouth to say something, to explain, to defend himself… but realized he had nothing to say, so Mrs. Sheridan continued.

“Young man, I learned a long time ago that life doesn’t always go your way. Believe me, I have 90 plus years of my fair share of heartbreaks and challenges that I could easily carry around with me as baggage. Instead, I choose to carry these with me.”

She reached into her purse and took out a stack of the napkins Frank had watched her scribble on every day. She had written things like: autumn leaves, Michelle’s kindness, seashells from the beach, the beautiful sunrise today, another delicious breakfast at Frank’s Diner.

“Frank I would like to challenge you to do the same; to stop carrying around your struggles and start carrying an attitude of gratitude instead.”

After Mrs. Sheridan further described his daily “homework assignment,” Frank didn’t have the heart to refuse her request.

At first he did it to appease her. As she watched from her booth each day, Frank would dutifully take a napkin from a dispenser on the counter, scribble something he was grateful for on it and put it in his pocket. The process was mechanical in the beginning, mindless instead of mindful. But each time Mrs. Sheridan smiled over at him, wordlessly encouraging him to continue.

Frank barely noticed when things began to change, when the words of gratitude he jotted down on the napkin each morning began to sink into his thick, stubborn skull. The attitude of gratitude he had inadvertently adopted through the sheer routine of it, began to truly mean something. That was when Frank’s life began to change…

A little over a month into his daily gratitude homework, Frank once again caught a glimpse of himself in the diner mirror. The reflection in the mirror was of a glowing, joyful man whom he hadn’t seen for years. This man looked forward to each new day with hope and enthusiasm.

Still smiling almost uncontrollably at the realization of how much life had changed, Frank surveyed his now bustling business. Locals, staff and tourists alike were cheerfully enjoying the revitalized space. Even though Frank hadn’t made any physical renovations, the diner somehow looked brighter to him. His eyes automatically drifted to the corner, to share in the moment with Mrs. Sheridan. But for the first time in a few days, the booth was empty. Frank’s heart sank…

A couple days later Michelle arrived and placed a box on the counter in front of Frank with a solemn smile, tears glistening in the young woman’s eyes.

“Mrs. Sheridan wanted you to have these.”

Looking at the floor so she couldn’t see his own tearful eyes, Frank simply nodded his appreciation. He felt an overwhelming wave of gratitude wash over him that such a special lady had come into his life, and exactly when he needed her most.

By time the springtime leaves were blooming, Frank’s Diner was more popular than ever in York Beach. There was one new feature in particular that was a huge customer draw. When a diner patron reached for a napkin from a dispenser, they also received a message of gratitude printed on it.

Each message was word for word from Mrs. Sheridan’s collection; along with a few from Frank’s own personal stash. Beneath the message was the question – “What are you grateful for today?” with a blank line beneath. Frank would watch from the counter as customers of all ages and from all walks of life eagerly scribbled their answers on napkins, and almost always with a smile.

Mrs. Sheridan’s unwavering attitude of gratitude, it seemed, had transformed not only his own life, but the lives of those around him as well.”