The Hidden Power Of The Compliment

By Marsha Egan

Can you remember the first conversation you had three days ago? How about what you had for dinner a week last Wednesday? No? You wouldn't be alone. However, I bet you could tell me the last time someone gave you a meaningful compliment. I'd be willing to bet that you can remember exactly what the compliment was.
What makes a compliment so memorable? Is it that we have some inbuilt mechanism for remembering compliments? More likely, it's simply their lack of frequency - they are a rare treat. They are also one of the greatest motivational tools available. What was it like last time someone complimented you? Did you feel warm? Happy? Energized? Did you feel encouraged to do more of what is was that provided you with the compliment in the first place?
Regardless of whether this happens at home or work; how easy is it to inject energy and positive motivation into that environment, and give the gift of that warmth, energy and happiness to the people around you? Praise costs nothing, but it is worth its weight in gold. So, if we all have the potential to enrich our homes, workplaces and organizations with this power, why don't we do it more often?
Positive reinforcement is a tactic every parent knows well, because recognizing someone's efforts and achievements is one of the simplest, yet most effective ways to reinforce positive behavior patterns and to empower them. We do it with our kids, subconsciously crave it for ourselves, yet for some reason forget how important it is for others in our lives, too.
You have to be smart about praise, though. Throwing random compliments at everyone isn't going to have the desired effect. Like all worthwhile things in life, you have to put some effort in to make it work. Here are three key rules to follow:
1. Be sincere. We all love praise, but if it isn't sincere, relevant or honest, then it will feel like what it is - false. If your choice of compliment isn't credible, then you won't be, either.
2. Be timely. Just as we punish our children as soon as possible after they do wrong to reinforce what behavior is unacceptable, the same is true of praise - it needs to be at the time the praiseworthy action occurred or as soon as possible afterwards.
3. Be creative. Say things the same way, and they'll quickly lose impact. Innovative methods generate energy, so mix it up and keep it fresh. If you praise someone outside formal channels, it will stick out to them and others more so, rather than keeping compliments for the morning staff meeting, be a little unexpected!
4. Be specific about what the compliment is about. You can't reinforce positive behavior if the person doesn't know what behavior is being reinforced! Instead of 'You did a good job on that presentation', try 'Thanks for your hard work on that presentation. You did some really great research and the additional information you found really brought the subject to life.'
5. Be selective. Don't worry about making people feel 'left out' when you compliment a single member of a team - the point of this sort of specific reinforcement is to be targeted so, if one member of a team stood out, tell them why they caught your attention, rather than just giving a half-hearted thank you to the whole team.
6. Be meaningful. Tailor what you say and how you say it to fit the recipient. Some people are naturally quiet and don't like 'fuss', whereas some people thrive on approval or are more outgoing. These people will love a public pat on the back, whereas others will hate it. When energizing a team member, communicate in a style which fits their own, as it will resonate with them more deeply.
7. Be proactive. After reading this, you may be all fired up with good intentions, but it's the action that counts. Don't forget to speak out, be creative and give out that energy, otherwise all you'll have is a good intention.
Ready to go but stuck for ideas? Why not try some of these ideas for some surprise-praise?
- Give someone a handwritten card or notelet. - Leave a small gift on someone's desk - flowers, candy, or a gift certificate. - Put congratulatory messages in the organization's newsletter. - Put a thank you note on a bulletin board.
The crux of the matter is that demonstrating to people that you respect, value and appreciate who they are and what they do unlocks a huge amount of discretionary effort and energy which reverberates through the organization. Fuelling your team on heartfelt, individual and targeted praise is quick, easy and doesn't need to cost a penny. When was the last time you did it? When will the next time be?

Marsha Egan, CPCU, PCC is CEO of The Egan Group, Inc., a Reading, PA based professional coaching firm. She is a certified workplace productivity coach and professional speaker, specializing in leadership development and can be reached at marsha@marshaegan.com or visit http://www.inboxdetox.com/.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marsha_Egan

The Power of Letting Go

If you’re one of those people who’s seen the much talked-about movie, ‘The Secret’ perhaps – like me – more times than you could actually admit without feeling a tad embarrassed, there are probably particular scenes, anecdotes and ideas that stick in your mind.

(Briefly, in case you’re unfamiliar with what might be described as the quintessential ‘self-help’ movie, its main focus is to outline and explain the Law Of Attraction, which essentially states that what you think and, more importantly, feel  about on a regular basis becomes your reality.)

Well, one of the stories that always resonates with me is that of Jack Canfield – one of the people behind the ‘Chicken Soup for The Soul’ series of books – who relates how he has brought wealth, a beautiful home and many wonderful experiences into his life using the Law Of Attraction.

His method, outlined very roughly here, involves deciding what he wants, believing he can have it, believing that he’s worthy of it and then spending a short period of time every day, eyes closed, imagining that he’s already achieved the goal, with real emotion and gratitude. Then he just carries on with his day.

Having tried this myself, I have to say – again probably like a lot of people – my results have been mixed and often less than satisfactory. Or at least that was the case until I really understood the Power of Letting Go, which Jack does include in his description, in the sense of simply carrying on with his day.

Emotional detachment, that’s the way

But the point was only hammered home to me after I’d studied certain written materials by a couple of his fellow Personal Development leading lights – Dr Robert Anthony and Dr Joe Vitale, who’s also a star of ‘The Secret’.

In his best-selling book ‘The Attractor Factor’, Joe outlines five steps to manifesting what you desire in your life. I won’t spoil the surprise here – go get the book as it’s a great read – suffice to say the final step involves ‘letting go,’ or becoming emotionally detached from what you’re trying to achieve.

Apparently, if you find yourself in desperate need of what you claim to be trying to manifest, your emotion is one of scarcity – in other words you’re focusing on the fact that you don’t have it, rather than the experience of already having achieved your goal. So you’re just pushing the desired outcome further away.

Of course, maintaining detachment is easier said than done, but it certainly works. A very simple example from own experience involves the retirement of a colleague and a party being organised on his behalf. As he was a long-standing member of the team, we wanted to invite staff who had long since left the business.

Gratitude and a positive vibration

One name that came up was that of ‘Rocket Ron’ – he was crazy about motorcycles, you see – and no-one had seen him for over a year. Efforts were made to get in contact with him via one or two telephone numbers. Someone even stopped by his last-known address to see if he was still there, but to no avail.

I had known Ron a little through the day-to-day activities of the newspaper where we worked at that time – me as a writer, Ron in the photographic department – and brought to mind both his face and some of the conversations we’d had, laughing to myself about some of the more comical exchanges.

Then I just carried on with my work, without giving the matter any further thought…. or ‘letting go’, if you will. After all, though it would be nice to have Ron at the farewell get together for one of our soon-to-be former colleagues, it wasn’t that big a deal and it seemed we could do nothing about it anyhow.

That evening, I stopped off at the supermarket on my way home – a massive retail outlet, not a small local store. And yes, you guessed it, as I was making my way down one of the aisles, there was the man himself and I was able to invite him to the party.

It’s the kind of experience we can all relate to. You think about someone you haven’t heard from in a long time and someone suddenly mentions their name to you or they call you out of the blue. Some would call it pure coincidence, yet the latest studies in Quantum Physics are suggesting that we all really do play a part in creating our own universe at an energetic level.

So how do you achieve and maintain the level of detachment needed for manifestation? I guess it just takes practice, though one way I’ve found of doing so is to simply feel grateful for something – anything – in my life, once I’ve focused on my goal. This takes my thoughts away from the desire, while keeping me in a positive frame of mind, or ‘vibration’, if you like.

Still, haven’t got it down to a fine art, but I’m getting there!

A Simple Act Of Kindness - A Better World For All

THE other day, I got an email from one of the personal development world’s leading lights, in my opinion, Dr Robert Anthony. It was basically about the value and wisdom of carrying out ‘random acts of kindness’ – a wonderful way not only to brighten up someone else’s life but also bring a little extra joy into your own.

One of the examples of such a kindness mentioned by Dr Anthony was ‘giving the cashier eye contact and genuinely saying thank you’. And it’s a great example. How often have you rushed through the check-out at the supermarket, merely glancing at the person taking your money and handing you your change?

Smile and the world smiles with you

We’ve all done it, especially on those busy, stressed-out days when we’ve got a thousand and one things to tick off the list. But if you do take the time to stop, smile at the cashier, say ‘thank you’ and really mean it, you’ll get a positive reaction in most cases. The smile is particularly effective. Psychologists have actually discovered that it’s human nature to smile right back! In fact, we find it hard not to!

So both parties feel better and relax just a little bit more as a result of one tiny little act of warmth that costs no-one anything. But Dr Anthony’s ‘random act of kindness’ did more than make me think. It reminded me of a surprising, some would say ‘bizarre’, perhaps even ‘spooky’ exchange I once had with a cashier – all thanks to something I learnt from a marvellous book written by the late Bärbel Mohr, who was surely a very special lady.

‘Peace be with you’

As you’ve probably already guessed, the book in question is ‘The Cosmic Ordering Service’, which was written in the 1990s and primarily focuses on achieving your desires simply by placing an order with the universe. Well worth a read if you’re new to such concepts.

Yet while this is the main thrust of the book, there are also other ‘techniques’ outlined, one of which is a way of feeling better about people who you don’t automatically warm to and producing a similar reaction from them to you – or at least that’s how I interpret and use this. And here’s my story.

One busy Saturday morning, I was in a sporting goods store in my local mall. Can’t remember what I was buying but I was at the end of really long line of people, none of whom seemed to be exactly full of the joys of spring. Well, it was November, I suppose. But I digress...

A miracle at the mall?

The girl behind the counter at the other end was particularly surly and unhelpful, barely bothering to acknowledge the successive customers, each of whom turned to leave the store with a look of annoyance and disgust as they walked past me clutching their purchase.

I decided to try the technique I’d found in ‘The Cosmic Ordering Service’, which basically involves looking at the person in question and saying the phrase, ‘Peace Be With You’, over and over again in your head  – NOT out loud – and, again, putting some emotion into it.

As I approached the front of the queue, the girl continued to be ‘passively unpleasant’ to everyone; even a colleague who came along to ask a quick question at one point. So I told myself, ‘Either it didn’t work this time or it doesn’t work at all’.

Then it came my turn to be served. And, to my utter astonishment, she actually smiled – albeit in a sleepy and slightly ‘hung over’ way – as she apologised, saying something like, ‘Sorry, I had a bit of a late night last night. Was out with a few friends at a club and probably drank a bit too much’!

From there on, we had a really pleasant exchange, a laugh and a joke, and said goodbye to each other as I left, suggesting, light-heartedly, that she get a good night’s sleep that night. Now, some people might think her change in attitude and/or mood was just coincidence.

For myself, having learnt a little about how we’re all basically connected on a universally energetic level – not least from Dr Anthony himself – the phrase I repeated and the intention I attached to it played a major, major part. Why not try it for yourself?

Positive Thinking And Its Effect On Your Health

by Greg Riley
The first situation to consider is the relationship between thoughts and conditions like depression and stress. A crucial question is whether the person's thoughts are creating the physical depression or the physical depression is creating the negative thinking. When it comes to how you can use your mind to help, this can be accomplished consciously and subconsciously. When someone has a habit of imagining things turning out very badly, rational thinking can show show them that they often exaggerate. However, the unconscious mind is much more powerful in shaping our habitual behavior, oftentimes beyond our conscious control. Visualization and hypnosis can be very effective in modifying beliefs and, if you do this, the long-lasting effects can be more powerful than using logic only.

It is likewise true that positive thinking can have an impact on our physical health, and you may be aware of the placebo effect on people who feel ill. This is when individuals are given a pill which in reality does not have any healing value, and yet they claim to notice an improvement in how they feel. This is evidence of the connection between mind and body, and there are many examples of men and women with a positive outlook being able to recover faster from malady and injury. You can also use the power of your mind to help you in achieving your fitness goals. A historic example of this is when the four minute barrier for running the mile was broken, which had been considered as unachievable up to that point. Once the "barrier" had been broken, other runners also began to break through what had really been a barrier of belief.

The effects of aging are likewise influenced by how we think about the process. As you get older, do you talk to your friends about your "aches and pains" and your weakened capabilities? It seems there's a great deal of truth to the saying, "You're only as old as you think you are," and our thoughts can be used to undo a lot of the so-called effects of aging. Unfortunately, numerous individuals will continue to hold on to old beliefs about the unavoidable "decline" of health in old age, and not pay attention to the benefits of a positive outlook.

Now that you are aware that your attitude can bring you a much better state of health, it's up to you to take advantage of this information and set your intention to think positive thoughts whenever you remember.
Article Source:http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_9366.shtml

Can We Really Change Those Limiting Beliefs?

‘Nine out of 10 people will die rather than change. That’s how difficult change is. So you can’t change people. Change yourself!’ – Leading US motivational speaker, Les Brown.

Hi everyone and welcome to my blog, which is all about personal development in its many forms.

As a copywriter and journalist, with over 20 years’ experience in this highly varied field, I’m fascinated by the different methodologies on offer and passionate about helping others to achieve their goals and fulfil their life’s potential.

The above quotation was made in a film called’ ‘Beyond The Secret,’ which I guess is essentially the follow-up to ‘The Secret’ – the worldwide smash attributed by many with bringing the Law of Attraction to a mass global audience.

The Secret and the Law of Attraction

In case you haven’t seen ‘The Secret’, it features leading figures within philosophy, quantum physics, medicine and personal development giving their views and talking about their experiences with the Law of Attraction, which basically states that, ‘You attract into your life what you think about and focus on with feeling on a regular and consistent basis’, whether it be good or bad.

While this stylish and very well-made film is an excellent introduction to the Law of Attraction, it is very much an introduction – a great starting point for anyone wanting to study further. ‘Beyond The Secret’, to my mind, continues very much in the same vein and is well worth watching over and over, as I have done.

Which brings me to the above quotation. It always stands out for me, partly because Les Brown is an awesome speaker and has a real sense of fun, but more so because it strikes me as so extreme. Would people really rather die than change?

Probably not, if those really were the only two choices. Yet there’s no denying that major change can be a serious uphill struggle. Ask anyone who’s ever tried to quit smoking, lose weight, get out of a destructive relationship, embark on a new career and so on.

Why the heck is change so tough?

So why do we find it so hard to alter our behaviour, adopt new habits and achieve new goals, especially when there’s so much to gain once we’re successful? Well, when you break it all right down, it’s about our beliefs, which combine to give us our view of the world and dictate to us what we can be, do and have – unless we manage to change them.

These beliefs – collectively known as our ‘paradigm’ – begin to form when we’re children, primarily from birth until the age of six or seven, according to the experts, at a time when our brain waves are at their most receptive to new ideas and concepts. In other words, before we’ve developed a capacity for independent judgement.

What we’re told by ‘authority’ figures such as parents and teachers during this phase begins to colour our world and create our beliefs. What we receive is not always the most positive input, not least because those ‘authority’ figures have beliefs of their own, which may or may not be beneficial.

Can I ever hope to get what I want?

So we grow up thinking things like, ‘I’m a shy  person’,  ‘I’m not good academically’, ‘I’ll never be rich’, ‘Having money’s a bad thing’.  And the more we repeat these statements in our minds, the stronger they become, ultimately developing into limiting beliefs.

As an adult, we can rationalise these beliefs as inaccurate, using our logical conscious mind. The trouble is, the beliefs themselves reside in the much bigger and deeper part of our mind – the subconscious, which is the real powerhouse, containing all our memories and experiences, and which doesn’t judge or evaluate.

Unfortunately, we don’t have immediate and easy access to this part of our mind, which makes changing and ‘re-writing’ or ‘re-programing’ these beliefs a real challenge. Some people try to use affirmations – positive statements made over and over on a regular basis – as a way to make the change, while hypnotherapy relaxes the conscious mind so that the subconscious can be accessed.

Personally, I’ve found a couple of methods to be particularly effective.

Busting out of those limiting beliefs with Aine Belton

The first is ‘The Belief Buster Kit’ by Aine Belton – ‘Aine’ being an Irish name, pronounced ‘Onya’ as explained by the lady herself in her written material. For me, the Belief Buster Kit tackles the problem of identify, banishing and replacing limiting beliefs head-on.

A pretty substantial manual is divided into distinct parts covering areas such as:

·        Exploring what beliefs are and how they’re formed

·        How to, identify limiting beliefs, through a range of exercises

·        Harnessing blockages to identifying limited beliefs

·        Dowsing techniques to test limiting beliefs

·        Creating and installing new empowering beliefs

·        Techniques for strengthening your new beliefs

·        Tips for ‘shifting your paradigm’

·        Exploring spiritual connections and your ‘higher self’

But what has always been the most effective element for me is the ‘Belief Buster Meditation’ – a downloadable MP3 audio track in which Aine guides you through a complete sensory meditation, or hypnotic experience to my mind, where you remove a given limiting belief and replace it with a new, empowering belief.

I won’t spoil the experience by giving away the content here, but I have always found this extremely powerful, relaxing and uplifting, and an excellent way to make the changes I want. I highly recommend this to anyone looking to get ‘unstuck’.  

Tapping your (money) troubles away with the ‘Money Beyond Belief! Home Tapping System’

Now let’s be honest, for most of us, our beliefs about money – and a desire to attract more of it into our lives –are among the biggest changes we want to make.  So the second method is what I believe is a new programme from Brad Yates and Dr Joe Vitale, called the ‘Money Beyond Belief! Home Tapping System’.

I must confess to being a real fan of Joe, who’s one of the stars of ‘The Secret’. In fact, I’ve invested in a number of his books and development programs in the past, but was particularly interested in this one as it’s based on ‘Tapping’ or Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), which I learnt some time ago from a UK-based teacher and Reiki Master called June Spencer – www.dragonflywellnesscentre.com.

Not come across EFT? Well, it employs the same Energy Meridians as defined by Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and used in Acupuncture and Acupressure, as well as other complementary therapies. Very basically, you tap on particular points on the body, to remove energy blockages and thereby release unhelpful emotions.

The Money Beyond Belief! Home Tapping System focuses on these methods, through a 9-point Tapping System, to change your negative beliefs about money (as well as other aspects of your life) and thereby allow abundance to flow in.

The package itself includes downloadable MP3  recordings of seminars centred on Healing Limiting Beliefs, Developing A Positive Self Image, Clearing Blocks to Abundance and Tapping Into Vibrant Health. There are also PDFs of a collection of articles by Brad and a book entitled ‘The Seven Lost Secrets of Success’, plus another guided meditation focused on abundance.

Perhaps best of all, once you’ve completed the program, you can spend as little as five to six minutes a day, according to Brad and Joe, multiplying your ‘Wealth Mindset’ over and over. As for me, well I’m an EFT convert and am really enjoying this latest offering from two of the personal development world’s finest.

So once again, it’s well worth a look. And please, let me know how you get on!