Cultivating Mental Toughness

By Raman Kuppuswamy

“CONCENTRATION and mental toughness are the margins of victory,” said Bill Russell.

In fact, mental toughness is the most important ingredient for achieving goals in life because during the course of your journey towards your life’s goals, the chances of you facing bumps are very high.

Not only that, this trait will help you acquire resilience, determination and willpower so you can persist till you reach your goals.

Do you have the 'Mental Toughness' to achieve your goals?

Mental toughness gives you the ability and strength to push, despite opposition and hurdles. So, it is imperative that you must try cultivating the trait.

But before that, let us understand what we mean by mental toughness.

What is mental toughness?

Mental toughness can be described as the attribute that allows you to handle the difficulties you may face in your life.

A few experts firmly restrict this attribute to the sports field. But a number of other experts believe that this attribute pervades every area of our life.

Peter Clough and Dough Strycharczyk – researchers who authored the book, ‘Developing Mental Toughness’ – say that this attribute is:

“The quality which determines, in large part, how people deal effectively with challenge, stressors, and pressure... irrespective of prevailing circumstances.”

According to these researchers, this trait consists of a few critical components and they are challenge, control, commitment and confidence.

As far as ‘challenge’– the first component – is concerned, you must view challenges, not as obstacles, but as opportunities.

The crux of ‘control’ – the second component – is to believe that you have complete control over your destiny and life.

‘Commitment’ is nothing but possessing the capabilities needed for sticking to tasks and ensuring you complete them, regardless of the hurdles you may face.

‘Confidence’ is believing in your capabilities. Clough and Strycharczyk firmly say that mental toughness and the skills related to it apply to every area of life.

Research proves that the attribute has a genetic link. At the same time, experts suggest that people can learn and strengthen their mental toughness as well.

But how can you cultivate this trait?

1. Believe that you have the ability for achieving your goals

A study conducted in 2002 revealed that top performers – and especially elite athletes – always possess extreme self-belief.

This means that they firmly believe they can succeed. In other words, if you believe in yourself and keep encouraging yourself positively, you can achieve your goal, regardless of what it is.

2. Prefer intrinsic motivations to external rewards

External rewards – like popularity, money, etc. – are certainly nice but intrinsic motivations are better because they come from the ‘within’.

This means you will love doing things just for doing them. When you love doing things, you will push harder and try to perform better.

In fact, mentally tough people love doing things in which they are interested and their success in their tasks come from intrinsic motivations and not because of external rewards.

This means that they love the challenges they may face while doing things and overcoming those challenges is the real reward for them.

3. Mentally tough people do not get upset when they encounter setbacks

Mentally tough people rebound even when they encounter setbacks, and while doing so, they move ahead with stronger determination and resolve.

They innovate to find out new ways for overcoming such phases.

4. They are self-directed

This means that they do not let things happen. Instead, they focus on creating the life they’d like to lead.

They set goals and take appropriate action for going beyond their goals and achieving them. In other words, they learn the process of setting goals and pursue the goals relentlessly.

5. They keep their focus even if there are distractions

Distractions are bound to be there in everyone’s life, but mentally tough people do not allow them to spoil their focus. Remember that it is impossible to always have everything right.

Even if other things need your attention, you must focus only on your goals and work towards achieving them.

6. They are committed

Commitment is a major ingredient that helps in cultivating mental toughness. Remember the words of Winston Churchill who said:

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

So, you should always remain committed to making the right efforts for achieving your goals.

Raman Kuppuswamy offers copywriting services of the highest quality.

Please visit http://www.addscopywriter.com/ to know more about him. Click on “web presence” on the site to see samples of the contents he has crafted.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9723966

How to Bolster Self Confidence

By Lesley A Knowles

SUCCESS articles often describe ‘confidence’ as a vital ingredient of success, serenity and happiness. People with conviction will find it easier to accomplish personal objectives.

However, it takes time and a great deal of effort to develop self-esteem, especially in a challenging environment.  

Build your confidence - and make 2016 YOUR year

Go through the following pointers and see how you can apply these in your daily life:

* Make friends but see to it that you have good company. Socialize with colleagues but keep it to a certain point where you respect each other and avoid over-familiarity.

Friendship boosts the confidence of everyone. Likewise, avoid a negative atmosphere. Do not be involved in a situation where you have to fight it out with peers just to stay on top.

This kind of environment is full of people who do not appreciate what others do. It erodes your self-confidence.

* Socialize with other people since it hones your social dexterity.

Yet, refrain from people who may cause negative vibrations for you, because this will only disrupt your efforts for self-improvement.

Shun rumor-mongers, naggers, backstabbers and people who complain too much.

* Be aware of the evolving environment. Remember that change will test your patterns in life. It affects your adaptability and thoughts.

Change is evident and constant. It is quite complicated and leads to undue pressures. Nonetheless, change will eventually make you better and stronger.

* Do not be influenced by all the negative happenings around you. The world is full of pessimism. It is up to you to cast away all this disapproval and put the positive notions on top.

You must learn to cope with all kinds of challenges to beef up your self-confidence.

* It is essential for you to know different skills. Maintain your interest in various aspects of your daily life.

Keep track of developments around you and try to know something about everything. You have to be well-informed of political, social, economic, environmental and lifestyle issues.

Becoming optimistic is your choice. This also holds true for building confidence. It is not a policy, gift or something that is born instantly.

You have to choose and develop confidence. The rule is to make things happen.

Figure out the areas where you need to improve and work on those promptly. You are in control of your goals and values if you manage to develop self-worth.

When you achieve confidence, life will be more pleasant and the road to success will turn out less grueling.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7374076

Creating a Remix: Spicing Up Life When Life Gets Boring

By Dr Jaime Kulaga

"The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's greener where you water it." - Unknown.

"It is often possible to get greater enjoyment from what we are already doing, rather than try to find something else." - L. Don Siebet.

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet." - James Oppenheim.

YOU may have heard a couple of these quotes before. The reality is, many times we get tired of what we are currently doing in life and then we halt all operations to go find something new. 

When life gets boring... create a remix!

And halting doesn't always mean we halt the physical aspect, but it could mean we halt the mental aspect.

Meaning, we just shut down mentally and avoid, be mean or negative toward the current relationship or task. We cease using positive energy toward developing the old.

New means passion and excitement. That sounds very fulfilling and fun. But, don't new things get old at some point? Don't new things eventually get boring?

Think about a new hit on the radio that you love. You play it 100 times over on full blast and swear that you could never get sick of this one.

This song has a great beat and you can relate to every single word this singer is saying. But, after the 200th play, you find that you are quite sick of the song. How could that be?

You absolutely loved this one! Then, one day, as you are scanning the radio stations in traffic you hear that song.

Your beat just got a remix and it is mixed with an old song from "back in the day" when you were growing up!

This once boring song, with a little remix, was all you needed to be re-sparked before you found yourself singing at the top of your lungs in the car again.

Often, most everything that we want is right in front of us. It doesn't take an all-out manhunt of finding someone or something new to find happiness.

Happiness is often about rekindling the passion and spark with what you do have. So, go ahead, create that funky remix.

Here is an example of adding in a remix at work. In the workforce, you may find that you are sick of your job.

And while there are many reasons that it is a good idea to look for other work, there are also many reasons why you should or could stay and be happy doing it.

Try taking on a new project on a topic that interests you. Apply for an advancement or take on tasks that would align you with that advancement.

Get involved in work functions, and talk to more positive people at work.

Sometimes, relationships with partners get boring. We all go through a phase in life where we feel the spice is gone or the passion is drifting away.

Instead of putting in energy walking away from this person, use your energy to add excitement.

Talk together about the past and what added life to your relationship or look into each other's bucket lists and start knocking off some goals together. Listen to each other.

A great book on rekindling lost passion comes from Gary Chapman's, 'The Five Love Languages'.

Whatever it is in life that you have, before you walk away from it and expend your energy on finding something new, channel all that energy, positivity and time into what you currently have.

Being at a job for five years and choosing to put positive energy into it before leaving might yield passion, advancement and a greater sense of self-esteem and confidence.

These are the factors that lead to happiness.

Remember, if you're off to find something new, it will at one point get old, and you'll have to put just as much time and energy into that relationship, job or thing that you're being requested to do now.

Relationships can get boring, work can get boring, and songs on the radio can get boring. Instead of walking away from your favorite person, career or song, create a remix.

This week's goal: Find ways to add in a little mix to the areas within your life that you feel passion or excitement is slipping away from.

Dr. Jaime Kulaga is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Motivational Speaker.

She is the author of 'The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-by-Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance'.

She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops.

Dr. Kulaga has been featured internationally for her expertise in Work-Life Balance. http://www.mindfulrehab.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8960990

DON’T Fake It Till You Make It

By Darren Hardy of ‘Success’ magazine

WE often hear the phrase, “Fake it till you make it”.

I know the loving intent people have when saying it, but it has dangerous consequences.

It’s a common catchphrase that suggests you imitate confidence so that the confidence produces success, which will seemingly generate real confidence.

"Fake it 'til you make it"? Or maybe not?

But I have found that when people fake anything, they only produce more ‘fakeness’, and that leads to disconnect, trouble, misery and ultimately failure.

Let me tell you about someone whose experience can serve as a warning and an example of this important principle.

Jimmy White was standing in the hallway outside a conference room.

This was it.

The biggest pitch of his career.

At 23 years old, Jimmy had just started his own commercial and residential land brokerage firm, although opening his own business was never his plan.

It was only after being interviewed 30 times at the biggest existing firm and still being rejected that he decided to start his own.

He named it White & Associates, though at the moment Jimmy was the only associate. But that could all change.

He was moments away from persuading a bank to let White & Associates represent 2,000 acres of a 4,000-acre plot of developed, bank-owned land.

Jimmy knew the odds were against him; he lacked a national presence, a portfolio of past projects or even a team to back him up.

He also knew the bank was already planning to sign with someone else – the firm that rejected him 30 times!

Doubt began to creep in, and Jimmy resolved to just fake it. But then as the door to the conference room opened, he recalled another pivotal hallway moment.

It was in 10th grade and Jimmy was delivering a report on The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn in class. Had he read the book? No.

His dyslexia meant Jimmy had never read a book in his life – but he was going to fake it.

One minute into the presentation, his teacher stopped him. “Jimmy, please come with me into the hallway.” Standing outside the classroom, his teacher asked, “Did you read the book?”

“No.” said Jimmy as he stared at his shoes. His teacher sighed. “Jimmy. There’s something I want you to learn here. Look at me.”

The next words changed Jimmy’s life. “I’m going to give you a passing grade, but only if you promise that from now on, you’ll only talk about what you KNOW.

“If you don’t know something, be honest about it. If you don’t have the answer, say so. And then, instead of faking what you DON’T know, talk passionately about what you DO.”

Jimmy nodded, knowing his teacher was talking about more than book reports.

As Jimmy was invited into the bank conference room, he knew what to do. He spoke passionately about everything he knew – and he knew every inch of that land.

He had driven it, walked it and surveyed it himself.

He knew every road, rock and ripple on the water of the man-made lake. Were there questions he couldn’t answer? Sure; he freely admitted that.

But it didn’t matter, Jimmy was on fire, and at the end of the pitch the deal was his.

But it didn’t end there. The bank that owned the OTHER 2,000 acres wanted Jimmy, too. When he sold the land to developers, THEY wanted him to sell the 12,000 lots to the home builders.

And years later when the market crashed and the lots went back to the banks, Jimmy was there to sell it again.

That one moment, of selling what he knew instead of faking what he didn’t, made Jimmy White millions of dollars, and now White & Associates brokers more than $1 billion in land deals a year.

Article source: http://tiny.cc/nwnjmx

Why Fearlessness Is More Important Than Confidence

By Stephen Guise

WE are our best selves when we are confident.

Some of the benefits of confidence are the ability to be yourself, possessing greater courage, speaking your mind, feeling good about yourself, staying calm despite unfavorable circumstances, and having greater appeal as a friend or a mate. But there is one thing that’s even stronger than confidence. Fearlessness.

Why Fearlessness Is So Powerful

Fearlessness and confidence are related. If you don’t fear anything, you will naturally be confident, because a lack of confidence is primarily caused by fear of rejection, danger, or failure.

So you could say that confidence is a by-product of fearlessness.

Fearlessness enables people to do unbelievable things like climb skyscrapers, launch their body across the goal line (in football), and most importantly, boldly live their ideal life!

Most people wanting to be more confident will aim directly for confidence, but I think they could have better success by aiming for fearlessness. In many ways, it’s a more direct approach to being more confident.

When you try to be confident, you’re attempting to build yourself higher than your fears in an “I can do this” kind of way.

How Fearlessness Becomes Confidence

Imagine you see an attractive person and want to talk to him/her, but you aren’t confident enough. To try to gain confidence at this point is going to be very difficult.

Confidence comes from within, so it takes time to improve your baseline confidence. Though there are some in-the-moment strategies like confident body language that can physiologically increase your confidence.

But what if you attempted to conquer your fears as a way to become more confident?

Once you identify your fears, you can find some weaknesses in their “armor.”

First, you’d address your fear of rejection: The person might respond negatively to you. If you ask him/her out, they might say no. He/she could laugh at you and embarrass you. Ack!

However, these rejection scenarios are only scary or embarrassing for like 5 seconds. Can’t you handle that as a worst case scenario? Are you going to let yourself be scared of 5 seconds of awkwardness or discomfort?

This applies to any possible rejection scenario, from asking for a raise, to asking for a job, to asking for a girl’s number.

Second, you’d address the fear of failure. The fear of failure is a level above the fear of rejection, and involves longer term evaluation of what the rejection means.

You might feel that this one instance of rejection is representative of your general relationship with the opposite sex.

You might feel like this person is the ambassador for their gender, and if they vote you out, then all hope is lost. I’ve had this fear before.

The fear of failure can be dissolved with some logic. There are 7 billion people on earth and every single one of us has different tastes and preferences.

If you’re a good and honest person, then most people are going to at least like you as a friend. People tend to be irrationally scared of approaching strangers.

The logic is that any single case of rejection is just that – a single instance. If you’re willing to keep trying, you’ll find success.

Jia Jiang decided to experience 100 days of rejection to conquer his fears. And he found that most people were nice and receptive to him (a complete stranger), but not all.

What if he tried once, got rejected, and assumed that everyone would be that way? He would have held on to false beliefs.

In statistics, the sample size is very important. The lower the sample size, the less reliable the data. Why can’t we see that this is true for our lives as well?

And why can’t we see that for most things, all it takes is ONE successful result – for marriage, in business, and even investing.

Investing in Apple stock in the year 2000 would be enough to overcome the collapse of the rest of your portfolio, as it has increased 80-fold since then!

What Happens When You Remove Fear

When you remove fear, confidence tends to emerge. Confidence is believing in a positive result, while fear is worrying about the potential of a negative result.

Once fear of a negative result is gone, it’s easier to believe in a positive result (ie be confident). Fearlessness means nothing is holding you back.

100% fearlessness isn’t healthy though. The L.A. Times interviewed Michael P. Ghiglieri about deaths in the Grand Canyon, and here was one Q&A that shows the consequences of careless fearlessness.

LA Times: Is it true that somebody once fell to his death in the canyon because he slipped while pretending to fall to his death? 

Ghiglieri: Sad to say this is true. In 1992, 38-year-old Greg Austin Gingrich leaped atop the guard wall and wind-milled his arms, playing-acting losing his balance to scare his teenaged daughter. 

Then he comically “fell” off the wall on the canyon side onto a short slope where he assumed he could land safely. 

As his daughter walked on, trying not to fuel her father’s dangerous antics by paying attention to them, Gingrich missed his footing and fell silently about 400 feet into the void. 

It took rangers quite a while to locate his body — and to determine that his daughter was an orphan only due to his foolishness. (Source)

The key in life seems to be knowing which fears are healthy and helpful to have (a fear of heights isn’t such a bad thing to have) and which fears simply hold you back (asking a question, trying something new, being embarrassed).

Some people’s fear is so crippling that they can’t function normally. Others die because they don’t have enough fear. As with many things, balance is ideal.

Be fearful of things that are worthy of your fear, but don’t ever let the word “no” scare you. Don’t ever let it hold you back from pursuing opportunities.


Opportunities only pay off if you’re willing to take them, which you can do by losing your fear and picking up confidence.

The next time you’re struggling with confidence, think about what you’re most afraid of, and attack that root. Then you can move forward!

Article source: http://tiny.cc/c6h28w

How to Develop Unshakeable Confidence

By Jill Ammon-Wexler

IT'S obvious that confidence is an essential key for living a successful, satisfied life. Without it you will never attempt what you really want to accomplish or become. It's also at the very core of success - a vital ingredient for any personal, professional or business achievement.

What is confidence? The answer to this question can vary, but most people agree on the signs of a confident person - the ability to express oneself in front of other people, the willingness to try something new, and the ability take action in spite of what might appear to hold an overwhelming possibility of failure or defeat.

Confidence - essential for a happy life

 According to Webster's dictionary, confidence is "having no uncertainty about one's abilities". This sums it up well.

But have you ever wondered why some people seem totally confident, while others seem to lack this quality?

It's true that some people are naturally extroverted, bold and outgoing. Others seem to be more naturally introverted and cautious. But actually extroverts are not always self-confident, and introverts do not necessarily lack confidence.

Both extroverts and introverts can have unwavering certainty about their own abilities - the most basic sign of confidence.

Actually no one is born confident. Confidence is built through the feedback you receive as a youngster. If you received (and collected) a lifetime of negative thoughts about your abilities, such negative feedback could be affecting you today.

Why? Because our basic beliefs are formed as children. If you were taught NOT to believe in yourself and your abilities, that belief becomes your internal truth. Remember Webster's definition of confidence: "having no uncertainty about one's abilities". Uncertainty equals low self-confidence.

If you lack confidence, a good personal mission could discovering your own unique personal strengths. We all have them, and YOU are no exception. The truth is, none of us ever reaches our maximum capacity. At its best, life is an on-going process of learning and expansion.

Here are 8 confidence-building actions that can immediately have a positive impact on your confidence:

1. Gain some new skills
Building some new personal or career skills will always strengthen your confidence. What would you like to improve? If you would like to speak before others with more confidence, consider joining a Toast Master's group. The key is to take action and reach out to expand yourself.

2. Recognize your own successes
Nothing builds confidence like success, but too many of us fail to appreciate and recognize our own successes. You know how it feels when someone compliments you. Make it a point to personally recognize your own successes, no matter how small they may seem.

3. Believe in your potential
You may not today be the person you wish to be, but believing in your potential will you move in that direction. If you want to achieve something notable in your life, you absolutely must believe in your own potential. Just take it on faith at first.

4. Learn from your setbacks
Everyone experiences disappointments and setbacks, and it's just human to become discouraged at times. But you can also view setbacks as learning experiences. Meet your challenges head on and focus on your intended outcome - not on your obstacles or temporary setbacks.

5. Get some support
Turn to experts in the areas where you want to build more confidence. You can find expertise in books, ezines, articles, courses, videos, seminars, or even lectures. Hold yourself accountable to take the necessary actions to reach your goals.

6. Show confidence in others
Just as like attracts like, confidence also attracts confidence. The more confidence you show in others, the more confidence they will have in you. The more recognition you give others, the more confidence-building recognition you will receive.

7. Act as if
Acting "as if" is one of the most powerful life-changing tools known to mankind. Since your unconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is "real" and what is "acted" - the more confident you act, the more convinced your powerful subconscious mind will become that you ARE confident. Practice seeing yourself living with courage and strong conviction.

8. Expect to be confident
Expectation has often been called "faith in action." Expect that you will act confident, and your mind will produce the actions you expect. Expect to be confident, and you will truly become confident.

The author of this article at BuildMindPower has written several books that can get you started.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7852697

Post by John Lee and feature by Mike I McClement

Whenever a New Year comes along, many people seem to approach this perceived milestone – even though it's a mere passage of time – with a certain amount of trepidation and often a very worthy determination to make their life more enjoyable.

So I thought this highly practical guide to building your self-confidence, self-belief and self-esteem by personal development coach, Mike McClement, might be a useful addition to my blog. As you'll see, it's full of great advice and is an excellent way to take stock of your life.

Over to Mike...

1. Know what you look like
Find out how people perceive you... if you look as though you lack confidence, then people will treat you as though you do. In other words, you're already on the back foot and it'll be a lot harder to get people to listen to you.

2. Sort out your body language
Like it or not, people suss you out quickly, mostly by taking in your body language and sound. So get yourself in front of a mirror and be honest with yourself. Do you look confident? If not, why not? Then practise looking confident. Look at your posture, your facial expression, your clothing... Sounds mad but it works.

Confident people are happy people

3. Don't say sorry
Are you a serial sorry sayer? A lot of people who lack confidence are. They apologise for everything. Well don't. Only apologise if your actions warrant an apology. Some people prefix everything they say with a 'sorry'. This is completely unnecessary and suggests you doubt yourself. You might as well hang a sign around your neck saying 'I lack confidence'.

4. Remember you're not unusual
Realise that you're not unusual. Even truly confident people have their ups and downs. They accept this as part of life. An embarrassing situation is an embarrassing situation.. so what? It happened, there's nothing you can change about it. So learn from it and move on.

5. Be realistic
Accept that you're not unlucky. No one was born confident. Confidence is a skill you can actually learn. Accept this and start to learn. Just like any other skill, it requires practice and self-discipline to get good at it. We can all do it as long as we accept the challenge.

6. Think positively
Understand your mindset. Be honest with yourself... are you a positive or negative thinker? Are you a pessimist or an optimist? This is important. It's impossible to feel and look confident if you approach life negatively. A problem is a challenge, a mistake is a lesson to be learnt, a failure is a fact of life.

7. Know where you're going
You'll achieve little, if nothing if you don't have a focus. So work out what you want to achieve, both at home and at work and write down a plan. Think strategically (say over 2 years) and more tactically (say 6 months). One leads on from the other - think strategically first and then decide what you need to do tactically to achieve this.

8. Be happy
Think carefully about what makes you happy and get some of it. Confident people tend to be happy people - just watch them and you'll see. That's because they've found a balance between the things they have to do and the things like doing. They're also realists. They accept that life is life and there are some things that just have to be done but they don't let these bog them down.

9. Smile more
Sounds mad but it's true. Smiling really does help you to feel and look more confident. Someone who walks into a room smiling looks confident. It's a fact. It's also true that smiling actually makes you feel happier. It releases endorphins into your system. This even happens when you make yourself smile... So it's worth the effort.

10. Control your emotions
Control your emotions but don't stifle them. Think about how you let them out. Don't make a fool of yourself. Take a deep breath, maybe a few minutes too and then explain your feelings in a controlled way. Confident people have the self-control to do this.

About the Author
Mike McClement is a Personal Development Coach and author on confidence. He is passionate about helping people develop their confidence and self esteem in both a personal and work environment.

To find out more about Mike visit http://www.think-confidence.com
Complete a free communication style questionnaire at http://www.think-confidence.com/questionnaires.html

(c) Mike McClement. All rights reserved worldwide

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_I_McClement