3 Simple Ways To Combat Fear Of Failure

By Dr. Lin Wilder

EACH of us falls victim to it; there are no exceptions. Think for just a moment about the very long list - beginning with the most perfect man ever born.

This post is not intended to make light of the debilitating effects of fear and of anxiety; rather to suggest some old fashioned methods of dealing with the natural consequences of taking risks with our jobs, careers and reputations.

Fear is real. When taken over by fear, our reactions vary. But frequently, we freeze, just like a deer caught in our headlights, because she has been blinded by the intense glare of the light. She stands immobile, seemingly waiting to be killed.

The process in us is not all that different from that deer and the most common response to that surge of neurochemicals - which cause hearts to race, throats to constrict and dry, pupils to widen, breathing to accelerate and stomach acid to pour into our gut - is panic so severe that we behave just like that deer in the headlights; paralysis takes over, for an instant or for a lifetime.

1. The very first step in mitigating our fear is to recognize it.

Admit it to ourselves, perhaps to another, if talking it out will help. It's essential, I have learned, to select very carefully those whom we decide to trust when these moments of bone shattering anxiety and terror hit.

In this medicalized culture we live in, all too often, we take our fears to a professional who, more often than not, prescribes a psychoactive drug. Will the drug deal with the fear?

Will the drug help us understand what is causing it, will the drug cure us of the fear?

No, no and no.

What the drug will do is to alter our thinking ability, diminish our awareness and slow our responses. And after a period of time, begin an addiction to the drug.

Be careful taking those things that are prescribed by a well meaning doctor - they can do harm.

2. Once we have admitted the fear, invite it to take a chair in our mind so that we can ponder what lies beneath it. Admittedly this sounds a bit Zen, but it's important.

Here is why: we need to isolate the fear - pin it down and decide exactly what we are afraid of... is it embarrassment, loss of job, customer or career? Or is it failing an exam or failing in our new business?

Or is it one of the biggest ones: fear of what other people say. What will they think?

3. And then act - take action.

Most combat veterans will tell you that he or she is always terrified before the mission. As the rest of us are before an exam or before a speech.

Once we have dug down deep to identify what our real fear is, then we can take the steps to provide the best chance of success whether it is to study, get to work on that article or book, getting started is the very best antidote to fear of failure.

It is amazing how quickly the apprehension dissipates and excitement takes over.

Over and over, we read and see that most of us regret not what we did even if we failed but what we did not do: Don't join them.

Dr Lin Wilder

Lin Wilder, Dr PH is a former hospital director; now full-time internet marketer, trainer and author.

If you liked this article, Lin suggests her latest E-Book, now available at Amazon.

Go here: http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Starting-Business-The-Fundamentals-ebook/dp/B00D5FOLNY

Lin can be contacted at lin@linwilder.com. Her website is lleads.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8251156

The Challenges of Making a Change to a Behaviour Pattern

By Suzie Doscher

Change is not easy, nor simple. If you have been told you should change but are not really convinced that this is true, you are more likely to fail at completing the process.

Personally I recognize the process to be complete when I no longer remember 'what I was like before'. Someone still in denial about the need to change will not get very far.

Chances are there will always be excuses in the form of – 'I do not have the time for this right now', 'I am busy', 'I already know how to...', 'It is not my fault, you do not understand', 'A leopard cannot change its spots', 'I am too old...' etc.

Change - a completely natural process


Change can only really happen if you are ready to take action.

Research shows 90 per cent of the strategies designed for change assume people are ready to take action. In reality only 20 per cent of the people already involved in some process of change are actually ready to take action.

This helps explain why so many attempts to keep New Year's resolutions – lose weight, change behaviours, etc – are doomed to failure.

It is most helpful and supportive and will increase your chances of successfully completing a change if you can engage the help of a friend or life coach.

They will help you by being totally honest, motivate, encourage and in general offer the kind of support you will benefit from.

Specifically how to offer this support varies from individual to individual so make sure you communicate clearly how you need them to be.

The most successful way to approach changing a behavior pattern is to:

* Realize and acknowledge that things can no longer stay the same.

* Accepting that it is possible to do things differently.

* Take the time to gather the necessary knowledge, insights and support.

* Raise your awareness to how your life will change in a positive way by making this change. 'Pros' and 'cons' lists tend to work.

* Decide what steps need to be taken to move in the right direction.

* Recognize any denial, dis-empowering, defensive or self-sabotaging behavior.

* Understand and accept that you, and your life are worth this effort.

* Recognize and work through the obstacles and possible self-sabotage routines that appear.

*Most importantly celebrate your success.

Remember for this to be successful you need time, a lot of patience with yourself, and to know that you will have some setbacks along the way...all part of the process.

"If you believe you can, or cannot – you are right."

Suzie Doscher is a life coach focusing on personal development. This article is designed to give you support for you to master your steps towards behavioral, emotional and intellectual change.

It aims to offer you tools to help cope with all the stress associated with today's lifestyle and work demands. May even just one line inspire you.

Please also visit: http://suziedoscher.com, or http://coachgroupofch.ch

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