How to Improve Willpower

By Dr. Jaime Kulaga

WILLPOWER is the ability to control yourself. Willpower is a certain level of inner strength. It can be associated with determination or even motivation.

Willpower is what you use when you want to go out with friends but don't so that you can study. 

How strong is YOUR willpower? (Pic by freedigitalphotos.net)

Willpower is what you use when you choose not to pick up a cigarette when you are trying to stop smoking. Willpower is how much power you have over yourself.

Take a moment to reflect on what aspects of your life you maintain strong willpower in. Now, take a moment to reflect on aspects of your life in which you have limited willpower.

Why do you think that is? What about this area of your life are you not as strong, determined, motivated or in control?

Here are a few ways that you can begin to increase your willpower in those areas.

Three ways to Improve your Willpower

1. Take personal responsibility

By placing ownership for things we are not coming through on, on something or someone else, we give the control over our decisions where it should not be going.

Willpower requires control of yourself. If you are handing it over to another person or thing, you will never have enough willpower to change or complete what you are trying to do.

Tip: Begin increasing willpower by taking full responsibility for decisions and actions that you take. In return you will see both your willpower and discipline rise.

2. Watch your Self-Talk

By watching how you talk to yourself as you make decisions, you are reinforcing your personal responsibility and freedom as a person.

Just as important, the way you talk to yourself has an influence over your confidence and inner strength. When you lack confidence and inner strength, you will notice your willpower goes down.

If you are consistently talking down to yourself, you decrease the level of key factors that can boost your willpower.

The stronger you feel about yourself, the more inner strength you will have to make decisions that are in your best interest.

Tip: Increase willpower by talking kindly to yourself.

3. Define your Purpose

In business you have to have a 3 and 5 year plan. Why? Because it gives you and those around you a direction and a vision.

You must have a purpose in each choice that you make for your company so that it moves in the direction of your goals. You need this same plan in life.

Create weekly, monthly and yearly goals or plans for yourself, and put them in a place where you can see these goals each day.

Then, each time you make a choice, be sure that it is in line with your purpose and direction.

If you know why you are here in this world and if you understand where you desire to go, then your willpower and control over your choices will be stronger.

Tip: Take time to reflect on your purpose in life. Create goals and plans for your future and take these into account with each decision you make.

Dr. Jaime Kulaga is a licensed mental health counselor and motivational speaker.

She is the author of. "The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-by-Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance".

She is the inspirational founder of the nationally-known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured internationally for her expertise in Work-Life Balance. http://www.mindfulrehab.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8994488

The 'Skill' of Self Confidence

Posted by John Lee of YourBestYouEver.net

I have to admit, I've never considered self-confidence a 'skill'. For me, it's always been a character trait that some people have in abundance, while others don't.

Dr Ivan Joseph, speaking at TED in the US

As a youngster, I always fell into the latter category. I was seen as 'a little bit shy'... my older sister being the 'more outgoing one'.

That will no doubt strike a chord with many people and it's one of those throwaway comments you hear as a child that ultimately shapes your thinking and development.

The passage of years and life experience have changed my view somewhat, but to hear self-confidence described as something that can be 'trained into a person' was still very intriguing.

And it's just one of the subjects covered by athletic director and head soccer coach at Ryerson University, Dr. Ivan Joseph, in the lively video presentation you can access below.

Filmed at TED in the US, Dr Joseph explains how he successfully 'trained' self-confidence into a Colombian goalkeeper, who now plays top-level soccer, and how anyone can develop the 'skill' simply and effectively.

He also covers subjects such as:

* The vital nature of persistence

* The threat of unhelpful self-talk

* How to combat negativity and nip it in the bud

* How to build self-confidence in others

Dr Joseph is clearly passionate about what he does and delivers his talk with enthusiasm, humor and a great sense of fun. Click on the link below to tbe taken to the original recording.

http://youtu.be/w-HYZv6HzAs

Sun-Drying a Soggy Mind: 6 Suggestions For Thinking Your Way Out of a Black Hole

By Douglas R Kruger

YOU thunk your way in. You can think your way back out again!

The human mind is an amazing bowl of porridge. But despite its best efforts, from time to time we all find our minds sinking into the subterranean mire of a deep blue funk, and ironically, that's usually when we need our faculties about us the most, because tough times and angst tend to go hand in hand.

So let's assume that you're facing both - the trying circumstances and the attendant blues. What can you do to change gears in your loft? How can you get your mindset out of fight-or-flight mode and back into that creative, problem-solving state? After all, now's the time you need it most.

Here are six suggestions:

Douglas R Kruger

1. Head the Wisdom of the Austrian

A wise Austrian philosopher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, once made an interesting point. It was in the movie Terminator Three, when a young John Connor, faced with extreme duress, appeared to be going off the rails mentally. Noting this, Arnie, as the Terminator, grabs John, lifts him off of his feet and holds him up in the air.

Initially, John is scared, but after a few moments, his squeamish wiggles turn to angry batting. The Terminator sets him down and a livid John demands, "Why did you do that?!" The Terminator answers, "Because anger is more useful than despair. "

And it's true. Faced with darkness, we have a choice. We can either think our way into a hole. Or we can get angry, rebel, and start to look for real solutions. In a straight choice between despair and anger, choose anger.

2. Acknowledge that you need your brain back and ask for it!

Self-talk is a powerful thing. Start with this little exercise: Go to a private place - shut the door or take a walk - and have a talk with yourself out loud. Use your own script, but make sure it's something like this:

"Right, I acknowledge that I'm under a lot of pressure right now. A ridiculous amount, in fact! But for that reason, I need to be at the top of my game. I really need my mind to be working on my side and not against me. I don't need to fall into a pit of self-pity. Instead, I need to roll up the sleeves inside my head and get busy! This is a street-fight, but I know I've got what it takes. So let's get started. . . !"

3. List the things you'd need to completely solve your scenario

This is called Possibility Thinking. And you don't need to be too logical about it. Being elaborately imaginative and mentally generous is better. You can wheedle out the unrealistic stuff later. For now, think big. Dream. Imagine. Dance, Julie Andrews-like, across the high Alps of what could be.

Then, take a piece of paper or open a blank Word document and list the things that would completely solve your problems. Your list might look like this:

* Two hundred thousand grand would solve my debt issues
* A drop/gain of 10 kilograms would get me to where I want to be physically
* Three really big corporate clients, paying on a regular basis, would solve my cash-flow issues
* One book behind my name would position me as an expert
. . . and so on.

When you've done this, allow yourself a few more moments to carry on with your imaginary journey. Imagine, in as vivid detail as you can, how good life could be with your issues completely solved and resolved.

And also, don't just imagine it in negative terms, like 'no more debt'. Instead, imagine it in positive terms, such as, 'prosperous and wealthy and building my legacy each day'. Make the imagery as specific as possible.

4. Brainstorm 'To Do' items

While you're still in Possibility-Thinking mode, go through your list of needs again. Next to each of them, jot down, quickly and without pausing to evaluate how 'reasonable' your ideas may be, as many thoughts as you can for steps you might take to achieve those things.

When you run out of momentum, pause for a minute or two, and force yourself to come up with a few more ideas. You'd be surprised how many you can conjure up when you press your mind just a little harder, just that tiny bit more!

Then decide which items are most likely to succeed, and/or, would be of most value to you if they did succeed. Naturally, those are the ones you should get busy with.

Of course, if we're honest with ourselves, this is often easier said than done when we're down in the dumps.
If you do find yourself flagging or feeling discouraged, try not to fixate on the size of the task. Instead, try just dabbling a little. In other words, don't commit yourself to carrying out a huge campaign.

Just make the first phone call. Don't think of how daunting it would be to write the whole book. Just jot down some thoughts on possible chapters. Dabble in the shallow waters and you will find that your mind starts to become interested in the task. Not only that, but a small amount of dabbling can lead to small initial successes, which will spur you on.

5. Give your mind a dose of sugar

At key points throughout your day, as you wrestle with the twin beasts of your psyche and the problem at hand, remember to give yourself the occasional break. Make sure it's a complete break. Do something that takes your mind as far away from your troubles as possible. Watch Star Wars. Dig a swimming pool! Teach your dog the Pasa Doble!

As a general guideline, try to avoid watching or listening to anything featuring the same sort of drama you are facing, and the news. Escapism is the key. Personally, I like Phineas and Ferb on the Disney channel, and you need to be kind to your mind.

6. And finally, remember to celebrate each success

Money may be tight, but you have to celebrate the small successes. If you can't toast them with champagne, treat yourself to a stern cup of coffee, by Jove! But do something to acknowledge each step forward. Dip into the self-talk again and give yourself a convincing speech about how well you're doing under the circumstances. No sarcasm here. Just reinforcement.

You thunk your way in. You can darn well think your way back out again! Harness that incredible bowl of porridge in your cranium and force it to work for you. And remember, as tough as this moment may be, all this too shall pass. Ya just gotta survive it, soldier!

Douglas Kruger is a professional speaker, trainer and author of '50 Ways to Become a Better Speaker.' Watch him in action or read more of his articles at: http://www.douglaskruger.co.za. Email: kruger@compute.co.za

Douglas Kruger speaks on the mindset of productivity. Check out his topics, articles and videos at: http://www.douglaskruger.co.za

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