7 Toxic Thoughts That Are Sabotaging Your Success

By Lolly Daskal, President and CEO, Lead From Within

YOUR thoughts are powerful. It may sound far-fetched to say that what you believe will come true and what you think about will come to you.

But it’s not really such a stretch. Your thoughts are directly connected to your actions and therefore to your outcomes. That means they play a significant role in your success or failure.  

Are toxic thoughts holding YOU back?

Good thoughts give you confidence and empower you to act; negative thoughts can keep you quiet and hold you back.

Even successful people find the wrong thoughts can lead to derailed plans and stalled momentum, and they learn to steer clear of toxic zones.

As you direct your own path away from unsupportive, harmful thinking toward positivity, here are six areas you definitely want to avoid:

1. The necessity of perfection. Anyone who thinks they must be perfect is setting themselves up for failure.

When perfection is your goal, you will always be left with the feeling that you’re not measuring up, and in time you’ll come to see yourself as a failure.

Everything you do creates your future, and it doesn’t have to be perfect to lead you toward success.

2. Not being good enough. Everyone at one time or another has moments of self-doubt.

But if it becomes a constant state of mind or something that weaves through a lot of your thoughts – if you’re spending a lot of time thinking you’re not good enough, smart enough, talented enough, or skilled enough – you’re not taking responsibility for working on yourself to improve the value of what you have to offer.

Successful people identify their strongest skills and talents and use them to reach their highest potential.

3. Comparing yourself with others. It’s a constant temptation, seeing how we measure up to others.

But the reality is that everyone is different. No one else has your particular gifts and outlook, your particular background and challenges and interests.

And you can’t learn anything about yourself by looking at others.

Successful people know there’s no sense in comparing yourself to anyone else; instead, spend your time and energy creating the best possible version of yourself.

4. Needing to always be right. It feels good to be right. But the truth is we’re all sometimes wrong, and that’s OK. There are times we need to learn from our mistakes and maybe experience a little humility.

Left unchecked, the need to be right can do a lot of damage: it can affect your relationships, your business and your leadership.

Sometimes you’re right and sometimes you’re wrong. Remembering that and taking it all in stride helps us succeed – and it makes us better people.

5. Worrying about what other people think. People will always have opinions about you. Either they’ll believe in you or they won’t.

Truly successful people understand that regardless of what other people think of them, they can do what it takes to succeed.

They can take the bold steps and risky actions required for success. Don’t take other people’s opinions to heart, because who you are and what you can accomplish come from within.

6. Allowing the past to determine the future. If you think that who you were and what you did in the past will determine your future, think again.

People grow and change direction. Who you were yesterday isn’t who you have to be tomorrow or even today. Even if you’ve failed in the past you can succeed in the future.

Have the confidence to keep trying. Successful people don’t allow anything in their past to erode their ability to create a successful future, because they know life is full of second chances.

7. Believing your destiny is out of your hands. So many people feel that their fate is predestined.

The truth is your destiny is something you can mold – the power lies within you, and allowing yourself to believe otherwise is just a way of not taking responsibility.

Sometimes things will be difficult, sometimes things will be challenging, but at all times, you have the power to create your own success or failure.

Your destiny is in your hands, heart and mind.

Instead of allowing your thoughts to sabotage you, treat them as you’d treat any powerful force:

Use them responsibly for good, keep them out of harmful situations, and let them help serve you so you in turn can serve.

Article source: http://tiny.cc/3hzuky

5 Ways to Beat Self-Doubt

By Steve Errey

EVERY project I take on, I wonder if this is the one that I crawl away from with egg on my face.

Every article I write, I wonder “What if I have nothing to say?” Every date I go on, I wonder whether this will be the one where they laugh me out of the room.

Don't let self-doubt ruin your plans (pic by freedigitalphotos.net)

It’s not just me either. Whether you’re a circus performer, a Wall Street banker, a sushi chef, a submarine captain or a librarian, self-doubt will be a regular visitor.

There are people who doubt they can experience love because they don’t know how. People who doubt they can make the jump to being self-employed because they aren’t really a grown-up.

And people who doubt they have what it takes to really “make it”, because they’re just way too messed up.

Self-doubt is that horrible, gut-plummeting question of whether you’re good enough

It’s a yawning, gaping lack of confidence in yourself and your ability that makes you feel small and alone like a scared penguin in a haunted tunnel.

So to hell with that. Let’s do something about it, shall we?

1. Check the evidence

You’ve had doubts before, right? Whether those doubts were about studying, relationships, new jobs or anything else, you’ve been there before.

And yet you’re here, now. You’ve come a long way. The evidence supports that you’ve survived this life thing so far, even with all those times you’ve doubted yourself.

And as the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, it’s odds-on that you’ll continue to survive, no matter how big the self-doubt.

The self-doubt wants you to feel small and it might even want you to panic a little. But as the facts support, you’re bigger than it will ever be.

2. What if it was there to help you?

Doubt can be bloody confusing. It spins around and makes you wonder which way’s up, where North is and whether you can trust the ground you’re standing on.

But sometimes, it’s there to help prepare you.

You don’t have to pander to it or do what it tells you, but what if the voice of doubt was there to help you?

What if it was there to highlight a way for you to get ready? What if it was there to help you prepare? Or what if it was there to make sure you get out of your own way?

Doubt can be more of a downer than a greasy weasel down a luge run, but taking something positive, helpful and enabling from it can be a surprising and wonderful twist.

3. Put on your lab coat

Doubt rears its head when there’s change, risk and possibility in the air, because it hates that stuff.

So an effective strategy is one that reduces the threat level down to something that’s eminently manageable or doable.

TV’s Sheldon Copper (‘The Big Bang Theory’) would approach a challenge by breaking it down and running an experiment to see what happens.

Then he’d learn from that experiment and conduct another one.

Then he’d probably freak out that he was wearing his Tuesday socks on a Wednesday and secure himself in his room because the world no longer makes sense.

Maybe that’s not the best example I could have found, but the take-away here is that there’s something to be said about approaching things a little more scientifically.

Running small experiments is a fantastic way for you try something and see what happens. You get to change a variable and learn from what happens, without the sense that you’re irrevocably committed.

Reduce the perceived risks by running small experiments, and you simultaneously reduce self-doubt.

4. Swap to a better narrative

That voice of doubt is a cracking storyteller.

It’ll spin a yarn about how bad things could get and how horrible you’ll feel. It’ll regale you with tales of people better than you who’ve tried and failed.

And it’ll tell you stories as you fall asleep of how you can live happily ever after if you just don’t do anything stupid.

They’re just stories. None of us know what’s going to happen.

So you get to choose which stories you listen to, and which stories inspire you into action.

Choose a better narrative, one that sees you as whole and resourceful or one that sees doubt simply as a sign that you’re alive and well and striving, and see how that changes things.

5. Rally supporters

Trees have roots. Shoes have soles. Pies have pastry.

There will be times when the voice of doubt is so 'shouty' and controlling that you need some external input to help you through.

Your supporters - the people who want the best for you even when you don’t - are there to do just that.

This isn’t about throwing yourself a pity party or boosting your ego, it’s about asking for help and support so you can take your next step rather than sink into the mud.

So take a look around you. Your supporters might include old friends or new friends, a partner or a family member, a colleague, a coach, a priest or even a pet (yes, really).

You’re allowed to ask for help and support, and if the shoe was on the other foot, wouldn’t you want to offer that help and support to someone who really needed it?

When that voice of doubt has its teeth into you and you need support to feel strengthened, it’s time to call in your supporters.

How do you deal with self-doubt?

This article originally appeared on www.thecodeofextraordinarychange.com

Article source: http://tiny.cc/8be00x

Did You Quit?

By Monika Klein

I've just created a new saying "If it Doesn't Fit You Must Have Quit!" And it's so true - we all do it - we quit on ourselves. It can be devastating, depressing and cause a related lack of confidence about ever being able to work on your goal again.

So why do we quit and what can we do about it?

Here are your 6 Reasons and their Solutions:

#1 Not fully committed to ourselves. Whether it's your program or whatever you say you want, if you are not on board and totally "All-In" you will sit on the fence and not move forward.

The Solution: Committing to yourself starts with believing you are worth it. If you don't have that belief you need to hire it. Get support from a professional who will provide you with all the belief you need until you have it on your own.

#2 Distractions. Other things take priority which is often a huge issue for women. You know the re-model, the kids, housecleaning, caring for everyone else (and not yourself).

Believe and have faith, and you'll achieve your goal

The Solution: Just say no to distractions. Start your day with pen in hand and write down your 5 priorities - nothing else matters until you get these done. Be laser focused. It's the same with bigger goals, too.

If you want to lose weight and be healthy then the next time the cheesecake floats past you at your family dinner let it pass you by. On a good program you should feel nourished and balanced enough to forego any of these environmental triggers.

Make yourself and your goals a priority. Unless you have small children everyone else can take care of themselves - really, they can.

#3 Lose Faith. You are full of self doubt. You wonder "Will this really work? Is it working? Will it ever work? Second guessing by not trusting yourself or who you're working with is very self sabotaging.

The Solution: A funny thing about health and wellness is it doesn't come from out of the blue. Sure when you're young it doesn't require much effort to stay healthy and lean. But as you get older more effort is required. So if you take the necessary steps to lose weight and/or stay healthy by eating well, having 3 meals a day, eating fresh fruits and vegetables, exercising - you will get the results - there is no doubt.

#4 Wanting a Quick Fix. Sometimes the problem with healthy weight loss is it takes longer than you'd like in order to see results. There may be deep complex issues going on whether biochemical or behavioral.

The Solution: There is no such thing as a Quick Fix. Even though I call one of my Weight Loss Programs Quick Fix it isn't really it's very healthy but it's a catchy name - don't you think? Losing 10 lbs over 2 days is only temporary and the more you engage in this kind of fad the more damage you will do to your body.

Your body's resilient but you can not continually abuse it without consequences. Your body most likely will stop losing weight and functioning well. Do the right thing the right way - slow, gradual and supportive change is the only way to go.

#5 Bright Shiny Object Syndrome. Also called the Grass is Greener Syndrome. or "I want what she's having" the classic line from When Harry Met Sally. You start something and quit when you see something else then you try that for a short period and quit - setting up this vicious cycle.

The Solution: Decide to honor your decision and stick with it. There will always be something out there that appears better, quicker and easier. It's more tantalizing. You need to stick with your health regimen. Starting and stopping will never give you what you need and want and it's hard on both your mind and body. It will only deplete and depress you. So decide, do it, get the help you need and see your life change

#6 Listening to Everyone Else. You think you're committed but then 5 friends or family members have a better idea and offer their opinion. You end up being confused and without consulting an expert you quit.

The Solution: Stop listening to everyone and anyone. Everyone has an opinion "you should do the Belly Fat or Cookie Diet" says Aunt Shirley. Stop the confusion it will only paralyze you and you'll never get started. You may not want to tell anyone what you're doing initially.

Get used to the new program you're on, work with someone who'll help you stay the course. Then let others come to you and ask YOU what YOU'RE doing and what advice YOU can offer THEM. You have now become the expert of YOU - congratulations!

(c) Monika Klein

Monika Klein, BS, CN. is an award winning clinical nutritionist and weight loss expert. Monika is the "Compassionate and Practical Nutrition and Lifestyle Coach."

Her company, Coaching For Health, offers life transforming weight loss and wellness programs, classes and products throughout the world. To learn more about Monika's services and programs, visit http://www.coachingforhealth.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Monika_Klein

The Art Of Manifesting Our Dreams

By Dawn Gluskin

Ever wonder why some people seem to walk around with a dark cloud hovering over them and others appear to bring their own sunshine wherever they go?

While one group tends to be generally unhappy, finds things to complain about, and nothing seems to go their way, the other group can walk the exact same earth finding gratitude in everything around them, keeping up a positive outlook and easily creating the lives they want.



Entrepreneur, speaker and mom - Dawn Gluskin

In both cases, these individuals are very much creating their own destiny as the law of attraction is at work with the basic principle, 'Like attracts like'. Simply put – if you focus on positive things, you will get positive results. If you focus on negative things, you're going to attract negative results.
Don't get me wrong. You can't just say, "I want a million dollars", focus all of your attention on that desire and then voila – instant millionaire. There's more to it than that. Actual hard work, for one thing! But, there is a spiritual element to it as well. Sometimes the universe has other plans for us, or we just aren't ready to receive yet. This phenomenon is also well-documented in science with the placebo effect.

I can personally attest to the power of purposefully attracting and manifesting. I have somewhat honed this skill over the years out of pure necessity. Having multiple business and social ventures of my own as well as being a mother to a young child with another one on the way, I have been forced to adopt a very Yoda-like mindset in my daily routine – "Do or do not. There is no try".

Having many people rely on you for their livelihood and wanting to be there for them is surefire motivation to find a way to get things done. From scoring national press coverage and columnist spots for my businesses, to generating revenues in a tough economy and competitive marketplace, to just making sure my family gets a healthy dinner at night and mama bear doesn't totally burn out in the process are all major accomplishments that I have purposefully manifested over recent years.

Reflecting back on these, I have come to realize there are some basic principles involved and would like to share with the intention of helping others get a little closer to their best potential self!

Tips on Allowing the Law of Attraction to Work for You:

* Is it meant to be? Use your inner light as a guide. The musical key of your life's symphony must be in harmony with the desire you wish to manifest. In other words, there needs to be a strong connection with what you want and what you're destined for. I have had plenty of "pouty" moments in my days after working so hard for something and coming up short in the end.

But after the fact, I always came to realize that there was a reason something didn't happen exactly how or when I wanted it to. Don't let this stop you from trying, though, as you miss 100 percent of the shots you never take! You just have to trust your gut and have faith in your instincts, which will become stronger the more you become self-aware.

A meditation practice also helps bring more insight. Some good questions to ask – Is this desire in line with my life's passion and purpose? Is my intention positive and for the greater good of many and not just rooted in self-interest? If the answers are "yes" and something in your gut is telling you to go for it, then chances are you're on the right path. Just remember to hold ever-so-loosely to your desires, as too strong of an attachment will likely bring disappointment and suffering.

* Hold powerful visions. Now that you've identified your desires and they feel intuitively right –Imagine yourself as actually having achieved your dream already. In this visualization, really see and believe it. Incorporate all of the senses: How does it feel, smell, tastes and sound?

Think about all of the important aspects of your life and what they look like when this happens. What were some of details that surrounded getting there? Writing out your vision story is a very productive and powerful tool as it helps to make your dreams seem more real, brings your vision into focus in your present situation and triggers your subconscious into action.

* Identify blocks and fears... and believe! You have to really believe in yourself and your vision. It's not a matter of if you can, but when you can. Self-doubt is a form of negative thinking that will actually prevent your dreams from manifesting. Believing is receiving!

The more you resonate with your fears, the more likely you will make them come true instead of allowing your real desires to manifest. For example, if you have a fear of public speaking and focus on all the things that could possibly go wrong before your speech – don't be surprised if you fall flat on your face when you get on stage for your big moment. Literally!

To avoid this, try noticing any internal resistance or self-doubt that comes up when you think about your desire and realize that both fears and desires exist only in the mind. It is best to identify any fears or roadblocks as soon as possible so you can accept them and move forward despite them. If the little voice of self-doubt in your mind is too loud to allow you to move forward or you are not sure what is holding you back, consider working with a business or life coach to help you work through it.

* You've got to work! You've set a positive intention; now focus your energy on its manifestation for the highest good. It's not magic, though. If you want it bad enough, you'll need to roll up your sleeves and put in the time and effort to make it happen. The more systematic you are in the execution stage, the better results you will see.

Start setting goals and creating new daily habits to help inch you towards making your vision story a reality. Have an accountability system in place whether to yourself, friends and family, or to a coach. Remember to celebrate all of your small successes along the way. Having a vision is a great start and often referring back to it is very powerful.

However, remember, "Vision without execution is hallucination." – Thomas Edison. Work it!

* Trust and allow. Don't get tripped up in your wants and desires. Have faith and confidence that if/when it is meant to happen, that it will. Keep your eyes and mind open for clues in the universe that will tell you if you are on the right path, or if you might need to tweak your vision slightly (or vastly, even!).

Remain living in the 'now', while you ever-so-loosely and delicately hold onto your dreams and allow them to unfold as they are meant to. If you are totally focused on what you want for your future, then you are focused on manifesting more of what you don't have. Trust and allow that things will play out as they are supposed to while you gently help to guide things along.

There is perfection in everything that happens along the way. Enjoy the journey!

Article source: http://tiny.cc/z8arlw