Conquering Procrastination

By life coach Joshua Howard

TWO similar questions many people often ask me are "Why do I procrastinate?" or "Why can't I stop procrastinating?"

The answer is far simpler and far more complex than you may think at first - it sounds counter-intuitive, but you procrastinate in order to get something.

Pic courtesy of brainyquote.com

This something is usually a major emotional benefit like avoiding pain, failure, rejection.

Luckily though, you can figure out why you do something and get a better idea of your real motivation.

Psychologists call this a secondary benefit. So, to figure out why you procrastinate, ask yourself what you get out of it.

What is the point of procrastinating for you? What good does it do you to put your projects off? Do you enjoy the stress of impending deadlines? Do you fear imperfection?

Many people waste time by focusing on perfection. However, perfection is an illusion (particularly if you've never done something before..... how do you even know what 'perfect' is?!?).

If you have this problem, focus on 'good enough'. Create the item 'good enough' and then begin to tweak it if necessary.

More often than not, perfectionism is a veiled form of procrastination, wherein people try to make things perfect in order to never get rejected.

But face facts: when you deal with others, you're going to get rejected by some of them - and that's GOOD!

What? Yes, contrary to popular opinion, you want to be rejected. Why?

So that people who don't like you go away quickly and so that if you're being rejected by everyone, you can use the data to figure out why people are rejecting you.

Another major reason people procrastination is that they fear failure because they equate failure with pain.

And while it's true that it's a little jarring to fail, failure is not a painful experience at all. If anything it's a calibration.

Far too many people get caught up in this idea that you can try for a goal and then succeed or fail.

However, it doesn't work like that. There is no 'either/or' in the world unless failure at your goal means death.

But since you're probably not trying to do something like jump the Grand Canyon on a motorcycle, you'll probably be fine.

So, rather than think about the possibility of pain from failure, consider that trying is a way to get one step closer to your goal by learning a way that either works or doesn't.....

..... both of which are good sources of information.

By the way, would you like to learn more about productivity, change, and time management? If so, download my free ebook "How to Manage Your Life and Time".

(And I'll let you in on a big hint: productivity has very little to do with time management strategies and everything to do with how you conceive of and use your time every moment of every day... )

Joshua Howard is life coach who specializes in law of attraction, NLP, and DHE.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7675304

7 Fears Most Likely Sabotaging Your Dreams & How to Deal With Them

By The Personal Freedom Project

LET'S jump straight into this one.

1. Failure

Fear of failure stops you from doing the thing you really want to do, procrastinating and keeping yourself doing everything else except the thing you really want to do or NEED to.

I know because sometimes I do it too. (Yes I’m human.) Get over it by:

* Remembering why you wanted to do what you're doing in the first place

* Setting mini-targets

* Asking – What’s the worst case scenario?

* Positive Thinking 

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

 

2.  What others might think or say

In my opinion there are 2 sides to this, you may not agree with me:

* First – no-one cares what you do because they are too worried about their own fears to worry about you. (Not always but mostly)

* Second – someone will always have something negative to say, based on their own fears, that really never has anything to do with you!

* Third – I know I said 2 sides but here’s something else you need to know - you limit yourself by worrying what ‘others’ think.

Heck everyone might just be happy that you decided to do something that you really want to!

Yes, the haters will still be there. Do it anyway. Give them something to say. They’ll think what they want, in any case.

 

3. Accomplishing goals & dreams

If you're fearful about being successful you are not alone. This is one of the obstacles that holds many others back from taking action. How to get past this:

* Find your purpose. Find people who have already accomplished what you want to do – join groups, forums and build up a network so you can get support. Have you joined my Facebook community yet? AND liked the page?

* Inspirational, kick-butt-into-action materials – like positive thinking books, audios or videos.

* Develop the skills required for you to accomplish your goals by taking courses and reading books.

 

4. Fear of rejection

We all fear being rejected and this has probably come from past experiences mixed with the fear of the unknown. You don’t think you're good enough, mixed with what others will think.

It's going to happen at some point. Accept it and embrace it so that if and when it happens you can get up and move on.

To do this, have your goals in place, so if you are rejected you remember what you went after - what you wanted in the first place. You can get up and keep moving forward.

Visualize how you want things to be, then take action.

 

5. Making mistakes

Mistakes help you learn lessons that help you make better choices next time. Mistakes are there to help you. As harsh as that may sound, we all make mistakes.

It's how you respond to them that makes the difference. If you're held back by making mistakes, realize it's part of your learning journey. Listen to what ‘feels’ like the right thing to do… then do it!

 

6. Fear of the unknown

Our accomplishment at anything requires that we step into the unknown. Things don’t always go as planned and they’re not supposed to. As I’ve heard it quoted before “replace fear of the unknown with curiosity.” 

I’ve tried it too and it helps, when you're afraid to take action because you don’t know what the outcome will be. What will happen when you take that next step? What will happen if you don’t?

 

7. Change of career or (anything else for that matter)

OK, so you love your current job but want to become a writer, guitar player or, heck, you just want to own your own property empire.

Because your family matters. Right?

You and your sanity matter. Right?

And when you find your purpose, you will want to start something new.

 

Questions to ask yourself to get you over your fear of starting something new:

* Am I scared to fail?

* Am I afraid of what others might think or say?

* Am I scared of making a success of it?

* Will others reject me?

* Am I scared to take the next step?

* Or am I letting the fear off the unknown stop me?

If there are any ‘yes’ answers here, you might want to read what I previously wrote above for each ‘yes’.

 

Pain vs Fear

The pain of staying where you are in your current circumstances has got to be greater than fear of moving forward! That’s when the magic happens.

 

Time

As for time and being committed to your ultimate destination, yes I know you're limited to a certain amount of hours each day. You work, have kids, chores to get done and so many other things going on'

But taking some steps each day towards the bigger picture - the lifestyle and the freedom - will be absolutely worth it in the end! Small steps count too.

Action

You must adopt a new habit of doing things in your life, even if you don’t feel like doing what will lead you to where you want to go.

But it’s going to take work – good purposeful, meaningful work and planning that you will enjoy and whenever you see results you will feel a sense of deep satisfaction. Your life is short. Too short.

 

Now feel the fear and do it anyway.

Article source: http://tiny.cc/7Fears

Your Beliefs Are True For You

By Linda C Davies

It takes courage to be able to uphold your own beliefs when the majority of people in our culture do not support them. Even if a billion people disagreed with us about something, this does not mean we dismiss our own beliefs in order to seek their approval. Despite their protestations, they may be wrong about something and we may be correct.

If we look at human history, we can find many examples of people who were ostracized for attempting to come up with a new theory or idea about something that challenged the current paradigm of that time period. To their credit, many of these individuals did not waver in their strong beliefs or succumb to pressures that were imposed upon them by others to dismiss their own beliefs even at the expense of losing credibility within their professional or personal communities.

Although it may have been unpleasant for some people to have remained strong in their convictions, this does not mean everyone who has stuck to their beliefs have had negative experiences. There are probably just as many cases of people who were supported by others who trusted their newly creative endeavor or new idea would eventually materialize into something concrete or be recognized by society.

Thus, faith in themselves translated into others having faith in them. Even so, this does not mean others lack of support has necessarily deterred some who have a strong sense of self from believing something to be true.

Sometimes when an individual makes a statement about something that is seemingly unpopular, support for their opinions may come from the most unlikely individuals. It is not as if what they have said is not believed or felt by these people before; rather, these people who now support them have been too afraid to express the same thought or idea for fear of rejection and criticism by others who they assumed held opposite beliefs.

I often wonder when I am in a group setting how many people actually believe what they are saying or are they saying something in order to avoid others disapproval. I have found myself sometimes saying nothing rather than something about what I believe to be true in order to avoid others condemnation. However, more often than not, I find myself expressing what I believe to be true because I want to be true to myself.

It is important to be open to others opinion and realize even if they adamantly disagree with us, this does not in any way invalidate what we believe to be true. When we all come to terms with accepting what is true for ourselves, it will no longer matter what others think about us.

Although what I have just said may seem cliche, I think it is important to heeds these words. When one considers how group conformity is sometimes adhered to more often over individual opinions and expression, it is important to express one's uniqueness in order for this world to show her wonderful and colorful self to the fullest.

© 2012 Linda C Davies

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Linda_C_Davies