5 Reasons Why Saying "No" Works

By Dr Jaime Kulaga

IT isn't always easy to say "No." Whether fear, guilt, or any other reason stops us, the reality is, the word "Yes" has this great way of flying out of our trap with little thought behind it.

Although we see women as harboring guilt and fears about saying "No", the truth is, both men and women struggle to use this simple, but powerful, two-letter word.

Never be afraid to hit the 'No' button

Here are 5 reasons why saying "No" works:

1. You get to focus on your current goals

By saying "No" to additional roles and tasks, you allow yourself to focus on your current goals.

Often, small tasks, given to us by "Big" people, quickly turn into barriers toward our current goals and consequently hinder our progress.

For example, if a boss offers you a project to take on and it does not offer much incentive for your position, or could hinder your progress toward other goals that he/she previously created with you, you might want to decline the offer.

Instead of telling a boss "No, I can't do this, I don't have time," turn this moment into an opportunity for you.

Schedule a meeting with your boss and bring to their awareness what goals you are already striving toward.

During this meeting, show them your current progress, how far you have come and the importance of successfully completing the goals already in progress.

Having too many goals and minimal attention provided to each, you will find increase stress, less confidence and could quickly burnout.

As you complete your goals already in progress, you are going to feel more empowered, self-confidence and excited for the next challenge.

Saying "No" works because you can focus on your current goals.

2. You maintain your credibility

By taking on an opportunity that you don't have time for, you risk under-performing, thus hurting your reputation and credibility with a superior, friend or loved one.

You want to make sure that if you choose to take on a task, you are committed to excellence, whether it is in business or your personal life.

If you can't commit to a top performance, saying "Yes" will come around to hurt you in the end. Worse, sometimes saying "Yes" hurts what you have worked months or years for, like trust or status.

Saying "yes" not only jeopardizes your current goal progress, but also, if you perform poorly on the new task, you could be seen as not competent in a certain area.

What can really hurt our credibility is when we say "Yes" to a task, and then back out later. You may get to a point in a project where it becomes too much work and you can't balance.

When you say "Yes" to something, people are putting their trust in you. In this case, if you pull out of the task, people may not see you as trustworthy and thus you lose credibility.

You may also risk losing future opportunities they could offer you. Saying "No" works because you maintain your credibility.

3. You free up time for bigger opportunities

Often people say "Yes" to taking on extra tasks because they think they will not be offered more opportunities in the future.

If you politely and respectfully decline opportunities, those same people, in the future, will offer you another opportunity.

People like people that they can trust and believe are honest about their commitments. Also, as you use your time to complete current goals, you will find upon completion, the next door opens.

This door will offer more opportunities and potentially even some more rewarding ones.

If you truly fear saying "No" because of the potential loss of opportunity, then instead of putting opportunity off on others, start creating it yourself.

If you want more opportunities, go find them. You will find them all around you. You can't simply say, "I wish I had more opportunity" and then sit there and complain that you don't.

You have to diligently work to make your mind see more opportunities than problems in your life. Look at everything in your life as having the potential to move you forward.

Think about the situation above regarding the employee who did not want to take on another task.

She/he could have complained but instead saw this as an opportunity to show their current goals and successes. Saying "No" works because you free up time for bigger opportunities.

4. Saying "No" shows self-discipline

As we say "No" to taking on tasks that we can't or shouldn't add to our plate, we are disciplining ourselves.

Saying "No" teaches us to avoid impulsiveness in decision making and also to put our priorities in place. As we say "No," we are teaching our minds to think before we act.

If we think getting in over our heads with multiple tasks and projects can be overwhelming, think about how saying "Yes" to major purchases or life changing events could harmful to your mental, physical and life state, even more so.

Discipline yourself by making a habit of thinking before you say "Yes." Saying "No" works because it shows self-discipline.

5. Saying "No" conveys the ability to set boundaries

As you say "No," you are also setting boundaries with people who think they can walk all over you, take from you, or mistake your kindness for you being a doormat.

By freeing yourself from taking on everyone else's tasks, you are allowing yourself to advance your life and/or family.

You will also find more overall life fulfillment when you are pursuing and focusing on your personal goals and desires. Saying "No" works because it conveys the ability to set boundaries.

Dr. Jaime Kulaga is the author of Type "Superwoman: Finding the LIFE in Work-Life Balance - A Self-Searching Book for Women".

She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops.

Dr. Kulaga has been featured in Forbes, Glamour, Self and Prevention magazines as well as the national show Daytime for her expertise in Work-Life Balance. http://www.mindfulrehab.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8734253

How to Stop Procrastinating - The 15-Minute Method

By Remez Sasson

IS it possible to break the habit of procrastination?

It is so easy and requires no effort to procrastinate, to put off tasks that we don’t feel like doing.

Why do we procrastinate? There are several reasons why this happens:

1. We might not know how to start the task. 
   
2. The task might be big and intimidating.
3. We might not have the necessary knowledge and information for the task.
4. We don’t like the task.
5. We feel we don’t have the energy and the patience for the task.
6. We are preoccupied with other matters.

These reasons, make us to put off big and important tasks, as well as small tasks.

Continuously procrastinating over tasks can have severe long-term effects on your future, work, and relationships.

This means that it is of the utmost importance for everyone to learn to stop procrastinating.

How to stop procrastinating?

There are various ways to tackle the problem of procrastination. One of my favorite techniques is to practice willpower and self-discipline exercises.

I have written a lot about this subject, including a book titled, ‘Strengthen Your Willpower and Self-Discipline’.

The possession of these skills enables you, not only to overcome procrastination, but also to overcome laziness and other negative habits, as well as become more assertive and confident.

A method you might have read about elsewhere is ‘The 15 Minute Method’. It is a simple and powerful method, if you have problems getting started on different activities and put them off.

Some people have problems starting on tasks - not sure where to begin - especially when the task is too big.

Others, have a lot of trouble tackling uncomfortable situations, and therefore, put it off.

The 15-minutes method is a good solution to the problem

1. All you do is to promise yourself to work on a task for 15 minutes, no longer.
2. Once you have devoted those 15 minutes you can take a break or do something you enjoy.
3. You need to be completely focused on your task during those 15 minutes. Don’t do anything else, and don’t let anything distract you.
4. To make it even easier, clear your mind of other tasks, take a deep breath, and set a timer for 15 minutes.

As you can see, it is an easy way to break procrastination. You just go to work for 15 minutes, and therefore, big tasks don’t seem formidable and intimidating anymore. You know you are going to work at this task for just 15 minutes, and this makes you feel more at ease.

This helps you get rid of the reasons for procrastinating.

You can use this method when studying, reading, cleaning the house, your cupboard or your basement. You can use it when you mow the grass, clean your yard, cook, and for a lot other tasks, big or small.

If you want to become truly proficient at time management and overcome the habit of procrastination, I suggest you join “The Time Management Expert Course”. It has a whole section on how to conquer procrastination, and teaches a complete system on how to best manage your time.

Join “The Time Management Expert Course”.

Article source: http://tiny.cc/uhv0ax

SELF-Discipline: Your Own Personal Gold Mine

By Reg Scheepers

I went to an ACE school my whole life. In general it's a system where the student has more to remember and has more responsibility placed on them than in public schools and it's an environment of high discipline, at least my school was.

(I won't go into how much or little I like that system, and what a very highly qualified psychologist has told me about placing a large amount of responsibility on a child at too young an age)

In 1999 I got expelled from school, an event I'm rather proud of believe it or not. I have since become great friends with the teacher responsible, and though it took him a while to come around, he now sees things (read: the teachers' attitudes and ridiculous endless unnecessary time-wasting procedures) the same way I do.

Anyway, after being "asked to leave" I spent my days waking up at 1pm or later. I argued that since I "work" until late in the evening, it was OK to get up at 1pm. I spent a large part of the day watching TV, not working.

I drove my dad's Mercedes convertible around as if it was my own. I was paid a salary for working on a sideline project my dad and I started to encourage teenagers to become a doctor, surgeon, nurse or specialist. I didn't even come close to justifying that salary.

For years I held on to the possibility that my dad's project would explode and we would all be multi-millionaires. Then something interesting happened: I grew older. I started to realised that my life was going nowhere. I realised that I needed to do something.

I decided to wake up early in the morning and work full days on my dad's project to help it get on its feet. The next morning I didn't wake up. I set the alarm, but when it went off I just killed it.

With self-discipline and persistence you can reach any goal

I made a serious decision that the next day I would wake up early. I couldn't do it. The warmth and comfort of my bed was just too much every single morning. I'm a Christian, and one day I was in church and the pastor spoke about self-discipline. This was the issue I was struggling with so I listened attentively.

It made no difference though, other than to reinforce that it was important and I needed it. I knew I had to make a change, but I had declined so far after years of not having to wake up early and do anything. I didn't have the strength of character and self-discipline necessary to make the change. And then I prayed, honestly and sincerely - because the simple fact was I couldn't do it. I had tried.

A few months later I got a job offer from an old acquaintance. I wasn't even slightly qualified for the job but he held a fatherly role in my life, so he was willing to mentor me and teach me accounting and financial reporting etc, stuff I knew just absolutely nothing about, and when he told me he would pay me 10,000 Rand a month I tried my best to act as if that was "OK I suppose" but inside I was doing cartwheels.

I told him I'd think about it, but I was sold right away. R10k a month, are you kidding me!!
Well he drove me to the limit, no beyond it. Every morning I'd wake up at 5am to leave for Edenvale before 6am because ANYTHING was better than sitting in the traffic and anything was better than being crapped on for being late. Since I was in the area from 6, I started going to the gym. I might as well do something with the two hours I had to kill before work.

At gym, my new boss started showing me that I can go beyond the limits I thought I had. I nearly blew chunks a few times in gym, but I became fitter and healthier, feeling better about myself.

At work, my boss shouted at me for every mistake. Once I forgot to call him after finishing a meeting at a client. He called me and asked me how it went. I told him and then he asked me why I didn't call. I told him what I considered to be a perfectly acceptable reason, I forgot. I mean, people are people, we forget stuff.

Well he scolded me big time, "Reg you don't forget. This is the last time you ever forget anything, ever again if you are working for me."

I think you'll agree that that's not a reasonable boss speaking. A funny thing happened though, I didn't forget much after that. For the simple reason that I didn't want the pain of him crapping all over me if I did. Today, in business, I seldom forget things I have to do.

I hated my job, my life, so much I can't even express it to you. I cried once while driving somewhere, it just became too much.

Do I recommend my boss' leadership style? Absolutely not. He's gone through many employees in the name of building their character by making their life tough. He lost all his employees three times over at last count, leaving him man-alone. I think his company would be much larger, happier and successful than it is today (though it is successful) if he didn't make his employees' lives a living hell. But, it was what I needed at the time in my life when I needed it.

The point I'm making is that it was terrible. So terrible in fact that one day in January, after only six months of working for my boss, I called up my close friend Harry Baladakis, and 1 Feb I handed in my resignation. The first day of March we launched a team-building drumming company.

Since that period in my life, I get up early, I have a schedule every day, and I'm productive the whole day. I'm unmarried as of this writing, so I don't feel at all embarrassed telling you that I want an attractive female PA. Why not kill two birds with one stone right!

Now, I finish what I start and very importantly, I don't wait for things to happen, I make them happen. It's empowering to know that if you want it to happen you can make it happen. Novel concept I know! Someone once said, "Reg is trying to start a business", and I told them without hesitation and with complete conviction, "I'm not trying."

I made more money in the first year of my interactive drumming company's existence than I would have earning the salary I got at my job. Between November and December of 2009, only a year and a half after quitting my job, we made more in those two months than I would have earned in a whole year at my job.

As Anthony Robbins always says, I say this not to impress you, but to impress upon you the benefits, the value of cultivating self-discipline in your life. It's VITAL for success. It's a precious character trait to develop, and whenever I'm tempted to sleep late on a week night, I just remember what it took to cultivate my self-discipline and that's enough to make me never want to go through it again, so best I maintain it. It's literally, an answer to my prayer.

I look at friends and people I know that are in the same place I was at a few years ago, trapped in a place where they think life owes them a living, believing that some day, something will come along and they'll be just fine. It's not going to happen.

You should do something every day that you just don't feel like doing. Some days you'll have to do many things you don't feel like doing, but do them. If you can, spread them out over a week or so so that you don't lose all inspiration, but do them.

If there's something you're always postponing or something you hate doing, make it your first order of business. If you do it last you'll be more-easily tempted to push it down until tomorrow.

Something that also helped me is an audio course called 'The Science of Self-Discipline'. It helps with the practical steps you can take, but unfortunately the motivation to do it needs to come from within.

This entrepreneur and author shows you How to Become a Make-It-Happen Person by relating lessons learnt while doing everything from training with an Israeli Special Forces/Mossad agent to practicing exotic, sensual Salsa Dancing.

Visit http://www.RegScheepers.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Reg_Scheepers

9 Success Factors for Achieving Your Best Life - with Brian Tracy

A really good video from one of the personal development world's most established leading lights, in which he shares his opinions on the kinds of qualities we all need to develop if we want to start living the life we want.

Intellectual capital (as opposed to the knowledge gathered from conventional education) good work habits, a positive mental attitude and a positive image are among the subjects he covers, along with the value of good friends and personal relationships.

Some of it may sound a little obvious, but it's always worth reminding ourselves of such things as the routine of day-to-day life and habits that we easily fall into steer us along a certain path and shape our attitudes. Hope you get something out of it.

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