Conquer Your Fears To Achieve Your Goals

Guest post by Lolly Daskal

TWO boys dove into a lake one day, challenging each other to swim across, a distance of about two miles.

Pic courtesy of rapidlikes.com

They swam with a strong and steady stroke, and the lead swimmer, not looking back, continued swimming on toward the other shore.

When he emerged on the shore after completing his swim, he looked back to see that his friend was nowhere near.

When they met back up, he asked, “How was it that you did not follow me across?”

The boy who turned back said, “Oh, after I got about halfway out, I looked back and saw how far I had come, and I was afraid I could not make it, so I turned back.”

“But,” said the boy who swam across couldn’t you see that it was just as hard to turn back to safety as it was to continue swimming to your goal?”

One of the biggest obstacles to reaching our goals is fear.

'Fear is an emotion that overrides our intelligence'

It stops us from moving toward our goals, and it plays havoc with our quality of life.

People often fail to recognize the impact of fear - sometimes because we don’t even use the word. Instead we talk about things like worry, nervousness, stress, shyness, or anxiety.

But the only way to diminish fear is to conquer it.

Develop self-confidence: Self-confidence is not absence of fear but the mastery of fear. The key is to know it is a state of mind you can create anytime you want, no matter what the circumstances.

Master motivation: Motivation is a vital component of reaching any goal. Since most goals tend to involve pushing through short-term pain to achieve a long-term gain, staying connected to your motivation keeps you on the path to success.

Goals themselves are highly motivating, but to get even greater leverage you need to keep that motivation up front in your mind.

Proceed past procrastination: When you procrastinate, you’re waiting for the right time, the right place, the right person - external things you can never count on.

When you find yourself becoming paralyzed by inaction, learn to power through. Start with small tasks to build momentum and move past the obstacle of procrastination.

Build self-discipline: To achieve a goal, you must be willing to do what you know you should do when you should do it, whether you like or not.

Underlining all great achievements is the quality of self-discipline. It is the ability to delay short-term gratification to enjoy even greater rewards in the long term.

Carry out commitment: One of the fastest ways to move past fear is to commit to what you are doing.

When you commit, you’re putting your integrity on the line, making yourself accountable to do what you say you will do. If you need help, enlist support to keep yourself accountable.

'Conquer your fears and achieve your goals'

When you realize that you have come just so far and then you find yourself tempted to turn back instead of moving forward because of worry, anxiety, or fear.... conquer your fear and enhance your motivation and self-discipline, block procrastination, and carry out your commitment.

Lead From Within: Self-awareness can be life-changing, and doing what you need to do to reach your goals is transforms leadership. Keep swimming in the direction of achievement.

Lolly Daskal is the president and founder of Lead From Within a coaching and consultant firm that manages large scale corporate coaching and custom made leadership programs. Connect with Lolly Daskal

© 2014 Lolly Daskal. All rights reserved.

Article source: http://tiny.cc/vs0ygx

Voice Your Heart: You Owe It to Yourself

By Lolly Daskal

In today’s workplace, there are many people who think that the best way to advance in the work place is to be agreeable.

"So many of us have swallowed our own voice for so long that we have forgotten what truth tastes like." 

Listen to your heart's voice

We are afraid to use our heart’s voice because:

We are afraid of being reprimanded. When we’re wrapped up in pleasing others, the idea that we will hear something harsh in return keeps us from speaking up.

We are afraid of rejection. The fear of rejection causes us to shy away from the risk of making waves, even when we realize trying to maintain the status quo is ultimately a losing proposition.

We are afraid of conflict. When we fear conflict, we avoid it at all cost - even at the price of our soul.  We tend to align ourselves only with those who think and believe as we do in order to avoid conflict. We think we are playing it safe, but are we?

We are afraid of being rude. But is it rude when we express ourselves, when we give our opinion? What an excellent thing to be as rude as that with our convictions.

We are afraid of being alienated. Nobody wants to be on on the outskirts, but when we don’t speak up we alienate ourselves from ourselves.

We are afraid of hurting people’s feelings. Empathy is a virtue, but when we’re overly empathetic we can lose our sense of self.

We are afraid of losing the approval of others. Many of us are people pleasers and want to please others at the expense of our own respect. It’s a basic human characteristic to want respect and acceptance.

There are many reasons why we don’t speak up or speak out.  But there is only one reason to speak from the heart.

The voice of the heart stems from our convictions. It allows others to see the character of who you are.

The mind is rational. It says that if we speak out we will be in trouble; if we state what we think there will be consequences.

The best insurance we can take out on our leadership is to invest in the message of our words, by voicing our heart.

We owe it to ourselves not to be afraid of our voice. It is not there to be silent.

It there to let us know that we have something worthwhile to say.

In our efforts to protect ourselves from pain, from fear, from sadness, from discomfort, from failure, from the parts of our life we have been conditioned to believe are dangerous or dark, we have stopped voicing our truth.

"The masks we wear to protect ourselves are armors, but they don’t really protect us— they just numb us."

Voice your heart- you owe it to yourself not to be anesthetized, the truth isn’t always beauty, but the desire for it is.

Lead From Within:. Life is too precious to waste our time on not voicing our heart. Speak up today. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Lolly Daskal is the president and founder of Lead From Within a coaching and consultant firm that manages large scale corporate coaching and custom made leadership programs.

Connect with Lolly Daskal

Trust Your Inner Wisdom

With Lolly Daskal

Lolly Daskal

Sometimes, I ask leaders what has made them successful?

Many do not mention intuition at all, even though they might claim the importance of their inner wisdom as they make decisions.

What is inner wisdom?

Inner wisdom is a tool for quick and ready insight. It’s a gut feeling, a sixth sense, an inner knowing, an instinct. It’s a hunch, a stillness, a quiet inner voice.

Inner wisdom is not a magic switch you can turn on when you need counsel. Yet your intuitive mind tells your logical mind where to look next.

Too many thoughts...

We each have 60,000 thoughts a day. We may feel it is impossible to follow or control our thinking. We can hear our thoughts. We can acknowledge them.

Many times we don’t act upon them. Instead we set them aside. Without knowing it, we are making decisions all the time, moment by moment.

We want to get it right. We may have trouble tuning in and trusting ourselves.

When should you tune in?

* When there is insufficient data 
* When you need to make a decision quickly 
* When there is too much information 

* When the data is inconsistent 
* When your individual or group vision has become confusing. 

* When you’re stuck 
You can use your intuition to come up with the right answers while you use your logic and skills to improve what you already know. 
What is your intuitive self?

We are all born with intuition. Some of us can tap into it more easily than others but the more you practice using it, the better you will be.

Using your gut is like working your muscles when you exercise. As you use it, you’ll get stronger. Each of us has experienced it. We need to learn how to listen to ourselves and act on our intuition.
Our intuition tells us the truth of who we are and what we can do. Our intuition can help us find direction and purpose.

Exercising Your Intuition: 

STATE – State your problem, circumstance, or situation. Frame the problem in a form of a question.

PAUSE – Take a break from thinking about your problem or concern. Enjoy down time enjoying yourself. Just allow yourself to be.
OBSERVE – Watch yourself and observe your thought and action patterns. Do not judge or make assumptions.

SURRENDER – Remember, you cannot force your mind to find new insights. They will come when you least expect it. Let go of the what ifs and the what should. Do not let these thoughts cloud your mind.

KNOW - If you need more information about your problem, circumstance, or situation, get it.

ASK – Ask open ended questions. What can I do about this? What else do I need to know? These types of questions will spur intuitive insights.

LISTEN – Listen for the answers. Be willing to be surprised by what you discover.

WRITE – in order to get CLEAR and take out a pen and paper and write down your thoughts and solutions. Which one FEELS best to you? Pay attention to the first option that comes to mind, since research shows that our first impression are often the best, since they are not contaminated by fear, anxiety, and wishful thinking.

TRUST – Trust what you discover. Take a bold step forward. Keep checking in and asking questions.

TRUST AGAIN – Trust the process with certainty to give you clarity in a circumstance. If you have to make a quick decision, go with your first impulse. Go with your gut. Go with your inner wisdom.
Trusting your gut is not magical or mystical. Instead, it is recognizing the language and sensation of what you know and what you are consistently acting on.

Lead From Within: Trusting your intuition will help you have respect for your inner voice, let go of resistance to change, conquer fear and doubt and find the inner strength to move from procrastination, confusion, and stagnation to a world of clarity, action, and confidence while expressing who you truly are.

Lolly Daskal is a speaker, business and life coach, a consultant, an author and a successful entrepreneur. She has helped countless clients and organizations experience success and organizational change. Visit her website at www.lollydaskal.com