By relationship
expert Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the
triumph over it.” – Nelson Mandela
“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will
accomplish nothing in life.” – Muhammad Ali
“Success is never final and failure never fatal. It's
courage that counts.” – George F. Tilton
THE WORD ‘courage’ always makes me think of the cowardly
lion in The Wizard of Oz. I love that he does whatever he needs to do
to free Dorothy.
His love for her is so strong that it overcomes his fear,
and in taking brave actions on her behalf, he finds his courage.
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| Do you have the courage you need to overcome your fears? |
Yet, when it came to feeling his feelings, he had no courage
at all.
He was so terrified of his feelings that he lived his life
numbed out, which made it impossible for his wife to connect with him.
He was working with me because his wife had said she would
divorce him unless he opened his heart to her.
But, since love and pain are in the same place in the heart,
to open to his love for her, he also had to open to his pain. And he was very
scared to do that.
He said early in our work together that he would rather risk
his life in enemy territory than risk getting emotionally hurt.
It took great courage for him to open to the deep pain that
had been buried in him since he was a child.
Look inside and see
what you have not had the courage to do:
* Do you hold back following your passion out of fear of
failure?
* Are you relationship avoidant out of fear of engulfment –
of feeling trapped?
* Do you keep
yourself isolated for fear of rejection?
* Do you resist
learning to love yourself out of fear you can’t do it?
* Do you procrastinate out of fear of being controlled?
* Do you avoid
trying new things for fear of making a fool of yourself?
* Do you stay
focused in your head rather than in your body, or numb out with addictions out
of fear of getting hurt?
* Do you stay
stuck in a job you dislike out of fear of failure?
* Do you stay
stuck in an unloving relationship out of the fear of being alone?
* Do you avoid
personal growth out of fear of finding out something about yourself that you
don't like?
* Do you avoid opening
to a spiritual source of love and guidance for fear of finding out that nothing
is there, or that nothing is there for you?
* Do you avoid
speaking up for fear of being wrong and being rejected?
* Do you keep
yourself limited for fear of making mistakes?
Other ______________________________________________________
There is no doubt that it takes courage to risk making
mistakes, or failing, or getting hurt, or losing yourself.
It takes huge courage to risk opening your heart and loving.
One of my favorite quotes is this one by C.S. Lewis from The Four Loves:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your
heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.
“If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must
give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.
“Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries;
avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your
selfishness.
“But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it
will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable,
irredeemable.
“The alternative to tragedy – or at least to the risk of
tragedy – is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be
perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
It doesn't take courage to do the easy stuff – the stuff
that doesn't scare us. It takes courage to do what it is what we are afraid of,
and that’s what brings joy to life.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and
co-author of eight books, including, “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By
You?” and “Healing Your Aloneness”.
She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing
process. Learn Inner Bonding now!
Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or
email her at margaret@innerbonding.com.
Phone sessions available.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9036424
