By Violet Sky
"I had no choice!" "It's their fault I feel
this way, not mine!" "It's just the way I was raised!" "Why
do they always make me feel this way?" "I don't know why I said it,
it just came out."
Do you identify with any of these comments? If so, you may
want to continue reading.
 |
| Someone pushing YOUR buttons? (Pic courtesy FreeDigitalPhotos.net) |
Due to the memories left behind from other situations we
have already been through (old baggage) – created when we may not have had the
tools we needed to handle them – this 'baggage' may have left behind trauma
associated with a similar situation in our past.
The truth is that we ALWAYS have a choice in how we feel about
something.
The way our brains work gives us that choice, as our own
brain is what we use to control everything about our physical being.
Our brains also have control over the chemicals it releases
that match what we feel and how we react to what we feel.
Many of us – for one reason or another – are thinking that
we don't have such a conscious control over these things.
Well, I will try to show you how we do, and what can be done
about it.
What is an emotional
button?
It may start out as simple as a pet peeve, and over time
develop into something that really bothers you.
There are many various different degrees of irritation; but
once they activate a reaction, they become "buttons" that once pushed
are hard to control.
It's like an emotion that hides somewhere in the back of
your mind just waiting for a reason to come out and take over.
The reaction also seems to be programmed, because it almost
always seems to be the same.
I hear things like, 'I have no choice but to react this way
when this happens.' 'I can't change this problem I have.' 'Nothing can fix
this.'
These are defeatist and self-sabotaging attitudes, and this
way of thinking will not help you.
What can I do about
it?
Healing such damage can start by knowing the following
truth: "Nothing that is done TO or BY me can affect me traumatically
without my permission!"
You always have the CHOICE about how you react to your own
feelings and situations when they are triggered or caused.
Our feelings have always come naturally to us as children,
and throughout most our lives. Most of the time we learn these emotional
reactions by watching someone else react to a similar trigger.
And we learned many of these reactions while we were young.
Any new trauma can also encourage us to plant one of these buttons as a form of
protection against a similar occurrence in our future.
It takes better teachers than most of us have to help
ourselves and others become aware of why human beings were gifted with emotions
in the first place, and how to effectively control them with our choices, instead of being controlled by them.
Example: If
someone puts a gun to your head and demands something of you, what are your
choices? Many may say there isn't one.
Let me help you see them here:
(1) Do what has been demanded of you.
(2) Try to find a way to not be at the end of that barrel
(i.e. fight, negotiate, try to disarm them however you can.
Or you can choose to get shot - and even if you choose this
one you may still be able to recover from it as long as you didn't lose your
head, and I mean that in multiple ways.)
(3) You can even choose to die if that is your wish (though
I highly DON'T recommend this option.)
Example: Say you
are strapped down into a chair fully bound and your eyes pried open while
something is set before you to watch. What choice do you have, right? WRONG!
Our brains are still able to make the choice of whether or
not we see what is right in front of us.
I'm sure at this point many of you may know what I mean by
some of this, as this is how we get some of our famous sayings. (i.e. How did
you miss that, it was right in front of your nose?)
We can create in our minds a whole other world (a fantasy)
to draw ourselves into and out of at will, thereby blocking anything else
around us.
Another option could be to command your brain to turn off in
one way or another (i.e. We can become unconscious, go to sleep, or some other
extreme such as death.
Once again I don't recommend that one, but it can be done by
thought alone.) Hopefully, you get my point here.
You can even choose to not be afraid if you wish. Or if you
are scared you can still not let that fear control you or prevent you from
thinking of your options.
The good news is emotions are all TOOLS so you can use your
fears to release the adrenalin needed to think at super-fast subconscious
speeds.
Your mind has a quite incredible talent for giving you
temporarily strengthened abilities in any area you may need in order to save
yourself, or to get you into a better situation.
Example: A child
gets pinned under a car. The emotional reactive chemicals released in the child
from this occurrence kept him from dying instantly.
The emotional tools released in the mother enabled her to
flip that car off of her child. How was she able to do that?
Quicker than thought as we know it consciously, her
subconscious chooses the option and has her body carry out the action necessary
before she really knows consciously what has happened.
She didn't have the time to figure out all the reasons she
couldn't do it before the reaction was already done and her child was saved.
The conscious part had to catch up later. I don't doubt one
bit that once caught up, her brain released a bunch of other emotions for her
to deal with.
That kind of example is what I deem as a "good"
button; which is not only possible, but creatable on purpose through either natural
means or with training.
For many, many years now our military has been training
people to have specifically programmed reactions in their minds and bodies.
Ever hear of the popular reactions of fight, flight, or
freeze?
When most of us are faced with something extremely stressful
such as in life and death situations, we make this choice without much thought.
Well, these guys have taught their brains to react
differently from the common ways so that they might increase their chance to
succeed in what they are doing (such as survive).
When such a heightened state of danger has a presence in
their minds, they have learned how to behave in a pre-determined manner.
Once the danger has passed, their brain's chemicals are free
to return to another state, freeing the emotional tools they need for the next
objective to succeed or fail, as they bear the consequences of those choices as
they arise.
This way their pre-programmed "buttons" can be
triggered or released when they need to be in order to do what they must to
succeed in what they do.
Who can fix a bad
button?
Many of us, sadly, are not taught how to prevent some trauma
buttons from forming from a young enough age to go unscathed in one way or
another, so we are left to learn other ways of coping with certain traumas.
But think for a moment, YOU were the one who created your
own buttons and triggers, so only YOU can fix them within yourself.
Just the same, you can create good buttons to use at a later
time.
We have no idea what may come across our paths, but we do
know that we have control over what we do and do not pay attention to, and how
we either act or react to what we do.
Where can I learn
more?
To read more... See the second part of this
article, "What can I do about my emotional
triggers?" at: Violet
Sky Writings
With Love,
Violet Sky
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7470398
