By Darren Hardy of ‘Success’ magazine
WHEN you hear the term 'leader', most likely an array of adjectives
come to mind. Some may include courageous, strong, powerful, assertive and so
on.
Rarely would you think of 'vulnerability' as a trait equating
with leadership.
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| Darren Hardy of 'Success' magazine |
But I’m here to tell you that view is wrong. And they
couldn’t be more mistaken. In reality, vulnerability is a strength.
All great leaders have vulnerability.
So, in order to help you grow into a more powerful and
courageous leader, I want you to be vulnerable.
In my interview with Patrick Lencioni in the February issue
of SUCCESS, he said:
“Start by coming to terms with your own vulnerability as a
leader and then translate that to your team and then the rest of the
organization.”
This reminds me of something Waldo Waldmen, a good friend of
mine, said.
He was a Top Gun fighter pilot, like the ones you saw in the
movie Top Gun, with Tom Cruise as Maverick and his co-pilot Goose.
Well, Waldo said he learned a great deal about leadership
from that experience.
He explained that, after the end of every mission, they
would have a debriefing. He said before it started, everyone was required to
first TAKE OFF their name tags and their rank.
Now, with an even playing field, they would go over the good,
the bad, and the ugly of the mission. And then the leader would take the
lead, admitting their own mistakes first.
This process is what they knew as exposing your chest
to daggers - meaning showing your own vulnerability first.
What this does is it creates an environment for the new
hires, the young wingmen, and the young folks that are in the formation to say:
“You know what? If so and so, the flight lead, or so and so,
the Top Gun, is going to share his or her mistakes, then I can do the same
thing.”
But it has to come from the top down and a lot of times, it
means being a little more vulnerable, a little bit more honest and open with
some of the things that are going on.
He said the key is to show you are a human being first and a
Top Gun or high-ranking officer second.
Now think about your own leadership meetings when you are
doing an ‘after action’ review on a project, meeting or client engagement. Do
YOU start the meeting by exposing your mistakes first?
Now I’m not talking about the passive-aggressive admitting
of a mistake like, “I never should have trusted so and so with this project or
that responsibility.”
That is the opposite of taking responsibility and
exposing YOUR failings, and I see and hear that all the time. No really, where
did YOU underperform? What did you do wrong?
What bad call or bad move did you make? What did you not
anticipate, plan or prepare for?
Be the first to throw your mistakes,
thus vulnerability, on the table. As a leader, it’s important you lead by
example and set the pace.
Many years ago I had a conversation with Les Brown after he
attended a keynote I did, and he gave me some really great advice.
He said, “You are a compelling speaker and certainly you
have had a tremendous track record of success, but that won’t help you truly
connect, empower and influence an audience.”
He continued, “You can’t just talk to people’s heads or only
appeal to their intelligence. You have to talk to their hearts. You can’t
move people with logic. They cannot just hear you.
“They have to feel you. And they will only feel you if
they know you. Not your title or resume or track record of success, but your
story, the whole story.
“The failures, shortcomings, fears and pitfalls - the whole
truth of who you really are and how you got here.
“Both the triumphant and the terrible. This is what will
make you real and make yourself available to be connected to.”
This was a real awakening for me and a fantastic insight.
You’ll even notice a dramatic difference between my first book The Compound Effect and The
Entrepreneur Roller Coaster.
You get a real insight into the true journey I took to
create what you now see as the entrepreneur success story, but it has been a
wild ride of failures, defeats, set-backs, and ego-bruising along the way.
I learned some really valuable lessons and the book is
designed to save you from suffering some of the same consequences, and to ultimately
accelerate your success.
BUT you will learn a lot more about my personal journey
in The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster than you might have even learned
about me in The Compound Effect.
This is thanks to learning that while people may be inspired
by your success, they are empowered by knowing that you too, like them, have
failed, and they too, like you, CAN succeed.
And that is what I am after - helping you realize that YES -
YOU. CAN. DO. THIS.
In general, I believe we are in an era of authenticity.
People want to connect with what’s real, open, honest,
transparent and authentic. If you want to be a leader today, then one of your
greatest keys is to open yourself up to others.
Be real, lead by example in your honesty and openness. If
people can feel you and connect with you, they will charge through walls for
you.
That is real leadership, real influence, real achievement.
So, what’s your plan?
Think of one way you can open yourself up to the people on
your team. How and what can you share about yourself that gives them something
to connect with and FEEL?
Come up with just one and do it. Deal? You in? Will you do
it? I promise you will be AMAZED at the reaction and connection you create when
you do.
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