THE other day, I got an email from one of the personal development world’s leading lights, in my opinion, Dr Robert Anthony. It was basically about the value and wisdom of carrying out ‘random acts of kindness’ – a wonderful way not only to brighten up someone else’s life but also bring a little extra joy into your own.
One of the examples of such a kindness mentioned by Dr Anthony was ‘giving the cashier eye contact and genuinely saying thank you’. And it’s a great example. How often have you rushed through the check-out at the supermarket, merely glancing at the person taking your money and handing you your change?
Smile and the world smiles with you
We’ve all done it, especially on those busy, stressed-out days when we’ve got a thousand and one things to tick off the list. But if you do take the time to stop, smile at the cashier, say ‘thank you’ and really mean it, you’ll get a positive reaction in most cases. The smile is particularly effective. Psychologists have actually discovered that it’s human nature to smile right back! In fact, we find it hard not to!
So both parties feel better and relax just a little bit more as a result of one tiny little act of warmth that costs no-one anything. But Dr Anthony’s ‘random act of kindness’ did more than make me think. It reminded me of a surprising, some would say ‘bizarre’, perhaps even ‘spooky’ exchange I once had with a cashier – all thanks to something I learnt from a marvellous book written by the late Bärbel Mohr, who was surely a very special lady.
As you’ve probably already guessed, the book in question is ‘The Cosmic Ordering Service’, which was written in the 1990s and primarily focuses on achieving your desires simply by placing an order with the universe. Well worth a read if you’re new to such concepts.
Yet while this is the main thrust of the book, there are also other ‘techniques’ outlined, one of which is a way of feeling better about people who you don’t automatically warm to and producing a similar reaction from them to you – or at least that’s how I interpret and use this. And here’s my story.
One busy Saturday morning, I was in a sporting goods store in my local mall. Can’t remember what I was buying but I was at the end of really long line of people, none of whom seemed to be exactly full of the joys of spring. Well, it was November, I suppose. But I digress...
A miracle at the mall?
The girl behind the counter at the other end was particularly surly and unhelpful, barely bothering to acknowledge the successive customers, each of whom turned to leave the store with a look of annoyance and disgust as they walked past me clutching their purchase.
I decided to try the technique I’d found in ‘The Cosmic Ordering Service’, which basically involves looking at the person in question and saying the phrase, ‘Peace Be With You’, over and over again in your head – NOT out loud – and, again, putting some emotion into it.
As I approached the front of the queue, the girl continued to be ‘passively unpleasant’ to everyone; even a colleague who came along to ask a quick question at one point. So I told myself, ‘Either it didn’t work this time or it doesn’t work at all’.
Then it came my turn to be served. And, to my utter astonishment, she actually smiled – albeit in a sleepy and slightly ‘hung over’ way – as she apologised, saying something like, ‘Sorry, I had a bit of a late night last night. Was out with a few friends at a club and probably drank a bit too much’!
From there on, we had a really pleasant exchange, a laugh and a joke, and said goodbye to each other as I left, suggesting, light-heartedly, that she get a good night’s sleep that night. Now, some people might think her change in attitude and/or mood was just coincidence.
For myself, having learnt a little about how we’re all basically connected on a universally energetic level – not least from Dr Anthony himself – the phrase I repeated and the intention I attached to it played a major, major part. Why not try it for yourself?
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