What I Wish I'd Known

Life coach Meri Har-Gil

By Meri Har-Gil

WHEN I was young, I took many things for granted, like my wrinkle-free skin, the sponge-like way my mind absorbed information and the boundless supply of energy that recharged with each sunrise.

But there were other not-so-good things I took for granted. For example, I assumed that my self-worth hinged on my physical beauty. And I believed that the needs of others always outweighed my own.
If I could go back in time and coach my younger self, here are the five most important pieces of advice I would give her:

1. Don't worry about what other people think of you.

Trust me, nobody will notice if your hair isn't perfect. And it doesn't matter how your mother-in-law thinks you should discipline your children.

Don't let others tell you who you are; you're the only one who can know your heart.

2. Communicate with fewer people on a deeper level.

Learn to appreciate meaningful conversation. Spend an evening getting to know just one person instead of fluttering through a crowd. Speak fewer words, and choose them wisely.

Say what is true, not just what is easy or what people want to hear.

3. Your role as a mother will change over time.

You won't always be playing peek-a-boo and yearning for adult conversation. The time will come when you'll talk as an equal with your adult children.

You'll enjoy this immensely; so don't let Sesame Street burn you out. Your kids won't be kids forever.

4. What's important right now won't always be.

You may be spinning your wheels in daily drudgery or facing decisions that seem monumentally important. Don't think that either the big or small challenges are the end of the world.

Make the best decisions you can, and if you're wrong, you'll learn from your experiences and start over. Your world won't crumble.

5. Take care of your body.

The health decisions you make now will affect you when you're older. You're doing your future self a big favor by keeping trim and active.

Your diligence now means you'll enjoy the benefits of youth longer. When your friends start having hip problems, you'll still be running marathons.

These are just a few pearls of wisdom I've learned over time. What about you? Did life teach you any surprising lessons?

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