By Terri Cole
WOULD you ever speak to your favorite child or your beloved
using the same language and tone of voice that you sometimes speak to yourself?
I bet the answer is, ‘No’.
Many people endure constant negative commentary from an
inner sh*t-talker or mafia mind that they rarely question.
 |
| Do you have 'Positive Self-Talk'? |
Take a moment right now to identify any habitual negative things
you might say to yourself. Do you call yourself demeaning names?
Do you put yourself down and harp on your flaws? Are you
straight up mean to yourself in a way that you would never be to someone else?
When asked this question to clients, most will reply, “Oh my
gosh, No!” or “Of course not!”
I think we can all agree that we deserve the same
consideration we give others.
So much of the time, the negative voice was internalized
long ago from a critical parent or authority figure and is not even our own.
This brings me to today’s Hello Freedom podcast featuring a
conversation with Amy E. Smith, who’s an empowerment coach and creator of The Joy Junkie.
I discovered Amy’s work when I stumbled upon her ebook
titled, ‘How to Stand Up for Yourself without Being a Dick – 9 Proven
Challenges to Radically Improve Your Self-Confidence and Self-Love’, which
I immediately downloaded and loved!
As I delved deeper into her blog, I became intrigued by her
tips and strategies to shut up your inner critic.
And I’m not talking about your intuition – I’m talking about
the repetitive negative commentary that you may have rolling through
your mind.
So many powerful, successful women who seek my help have a
brutal inner mean chick who is still torturing them daily.
Why don’t we work to find out where that negative self-talk
comes from instead of believing it, so we can change it? What is there to gain
from this kind of self-talk?
As a therapist, I am positive that you have the power to
identify and shut down the mean girl inside of you.
I was impressed with Amy’s suggestions and her no nonsense,
step by step guide to achieving that result.
Amy inspires people to move beyond their limiting beliefs
and sabotaging mindsets to a place of radical personal empowerment and self-love.
Her main focus is helping clients find their authentic
voice. I totally clicked with her and loved what she had to say, and I think
you will too.
Try this ‘Self-Talk Inventory’ exercise, from Amy’s ebook,
to identify the content of your negative self-talk.
Step 1: Identify
your inner critic’s language with a self-talk inventory by paying particular
attention to how you speak to yourself.
Answer these questions: What do you say to yourself when you
make a mistake? Drop something/spill something?
What do you say about your parenting or your relationships
or your intelligence? Do you get triggered by specific issues like weight,
appearance, work, or health?
Step 2: Look out
for these sh*t-talker lines: “I’m so _____” or “I’m a _____.”
Also watch out for the “what ifs” and “shoulds.”
Typically, these are all disempowering statements that seek
out perfectionism and encourage your inner bully.
Step 3: Take note
of all the ways you speak to yourself today on a piece of paper and write
“Today, I noticed my inner critic saying” at the top.
This exercise will help you identify the sh*t-talking you
are doing with yourself (you can’t fix a problem if you don’t recognize it
first), so that you can begin to interrupt the flow of negative self-talk.
Check out the podcast now for even more ways to shut down
(and shut up!) your inner self-critic and unleash your inner Badass!
Click
HERE to listen now to my interview with Amy E. Smith!
This post previously appeared on www.positivelypositive.com.
